Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Puppets In Satan's Service - Lick It Up

puppets in satans service

these little bastards rock

lick it up bitches

take a look at my vitals you fuckers

coiffure by telly savalas

horns by laura schlessinger

hooves by ferragamo

breath by butterfinger

chest hair by george the animal steele

charisma by don juan

vestment by yves saint-laurent

penis by excalibur

testicles by mamma's schweaty balls

ego by mt everest

hangover by patron

get bent with that fudge packer crack crap


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

the rumors about my sexuality are false

oh i hear what you are all saying behind my back

i hear the snickers

the name calling

the taunting

that little bitch bostick has been circulating rumors that i pack fudge and so on and so forth

not true

fudge tends to melt at my very touch thereby making the packing of said fudge quite challenging
ok so i am a little effeminate and somewhat sensitive for a lord of the underworld

so sue me

i am certainly fabulous but i am not gay

ps the other night i was on bosticks page and he has an instant messenger doo hicky on which you can text message him

i think he was hitting on me

swear to god

of course i rejected his advances

that is probably why he is attacking me

Monday, October 23, 2006

home away from home

i am sure you fuckers have all been wondering where i was all your lives

or at least the last four months of your lives

well wonder no longer

i was on vacation


you guessed it

death valley

home away from home

america is headed into the toilet

my work here is complete

you have all agreed that someday soon i can stick my fork in you

you are done

you begged me to do it and i will

when i get around to it

but for four months there i was away from all you fuckers living in the land my father and his father before him and his father before him promised me

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


sins of excess are my favorite

i like lust
gluttony is good

greed is like having a boner for benjamins

it is bling bling gluttony

dont listen to the church
they just want your dough
and guilt you in to trading it for your soul

the reason they want you to take a vow of poverty is because they want to build their dog an air conditioned dog house

doesnt your dog deserve air conditioning instead
keep it all for yourself


this shit just keeps getting better

go get yourself that hummer or escalade

you deserve it

you earned it

flaunt it

conspicuous consumption shows the world that they are your bitch

get greed

Thursday, October 12, 2006

gluttony is good


people just go ahead and shovel it in
more is never enough

just keep eating and drinking and eating and drinking


gluttony is the best way to demonstrate that you absolutely refuse to share any of the worlds resources

your appetite for oil and the rest of the worlds resources is so deliciously gluttonous that my nipples become erect just thinking about it

dont you dare share that food with those less fortunate

people are dying in third world countries
who gives a shit

throw half of your dinner down the disposal
and then get more

gluttony is glamourous

it is mine

do everything to excess

did i say drugs
consume consume consume consume

doesnt that feel good

you people are fantastic
your passions and delights inspire me

keep up your good work
and ill keep up mine

there go my nipples again

Sunday, October 08, 2006

i like lust


according to one of my favorite groups the catholics lust means

the inordinate craving for or indulgence of the carnal pleasure which is experienced in the human organs of generation

the pope cracks my shit up when he comes up with this shit

what is an inordinate craving

clearly anything that gives you a boner erection chubby hard on stiffy woody pocket rocket or meat pole is bad


that is mine

i came up with that