The Tree of Knowledge - WWSD Wednesday
welcome to the tree of knowledgehave a bite
it is time for what would satan do wednesday
lets start off with calzone
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calzone asked
Why the fuck do I sit here covered in blood night after fucking night with a disemboweled dead virgin in my lap calling your name and you never fucking show?
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great question calzone
as you know i am very busy corrupting souls and playing in fiddle competitions
it isnt always easy for me to drop what i am doing to run to a summoning using a disemboweled dead virgin
but if my presence is required or if there are really good drugs and hot tail available then i suggest adding a pentagram drawn in blood and a little incense
my latin is rusty so stick to george w bushs native language please
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ihatesausage asked
who gets Hasselhoff?
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the guy cant sing much less play the fiddle
i smoked his ass and he is mine
after all he is huge in germany and you know how many german bastards that are mine
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melanhead asked
Do I have to masturbate every day to secure a spot? What about the days when I'm on the rag? I don't like getting pulpy blood on my fingers.
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wear mittens
sometimes a solid fisting in your own ass will serve as an adequate substitute but certainly do not miss a day
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jesus christ asked
Dude, are you ever going to hit us up on the email?
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no
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psychic dumb dumb asked
Does swallowing as opposed to spitting heighten my chances into hell?
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great question psychic dumb dumg
swallowing as opposed to spitting does not necessarily heighten your chances of getting into hell
however swallowing as opposed to spitting insures my chances of being in heaven
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nowhere girl asked
I had the most disturbing dream last night regarding oral sex and a family member. Ugghhh. I hate that. I'm going to hell, aren't I?!
My brother, though he kept morphing into someone else. I don't know who, though I think it's this guy who works at Walgreens. Anyhoo, I was performing it. My husband kept walking by, putting away groceries
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thought about it again and yep that is even fucked up for me
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captain carl action figure asked
ARRR....how do I be keepin my plastic dick from meltin down here?......
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soak it in cider
get it
in cider
say it fast
hee hee hee
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i couldn't get to all of them and damn you for thinking that i would
posted by Satan @ 8:08 PM
20 comments
20 Comments:
I so lust you Satan. Bravo.
i lust you too ihatesausage
a while ago i added your link to my site
you are my next conquest
and i think you know why
Hmm... interesting that I have the power to send you to heaven...
psychic dumb dumb your oral skills are well documented in the underworld
spitters are quitters
split me in two.
Stop fiddlin with your fiddle and maybe you'd have the time to answer all the questions. If you don't start satisfying you legions they will start desserting and head back to JC.
Get that lazy minion of your's to do something besides masterbating to sheep pics.
Get behind me Satan.
Oh I think I know why...Shannon left something to be desired? Found out she has a penis? Had an odor that could damn a soul at 20 paces?
Now I have to decide if being with you for eternity is worth listening to Hasselhoff.
bill you know i like you
you are a bad person
that is what i like about you
leave jesus christ and come join us
you know you want to
I just wanted to tell you that you really hurt my feelings the way you shit on me in that post.
Guess we're even.
Also, we're shutting our blog down in one week. Hope the extra weight on your side of the teeter totter doesn't topple things for you.
It's been fun.
Love,
JC
Well I'm no longer JC so I guess I forgive you.
jesus christ i emailed you
satans brother carl you are a douchebag
if you dont get off my blog i am going to tell mom
bill the apostle and tad wilson if you guys leave wont i be obsolete
who needs satan if there is not jesus christ and the apostles
this is much worse than being banished from heaven by jesus christs dad
i like puppies they taste good with marshmallows
cowbell gene your new platform is sort of lame
have you been spending too much time on those blogs with kittens and butterflies where they leave little poems
that kind of shit can screw you up
I like how you include little rows of stars between questions...
you are a cutesy satan...
i just confirmed that jesus christ is gone
it looks like you are all mine
this sure beats having to challenge you all to fiddle playing contests
carl god damn it
just because you can stay up until 10 doesnt mean you can hang out here
now go to your own site or i am telling mom right now
i will lock your pussy ass back in the toolshed if you dont leave me alone
Satan,
If you have a flute for me to play with I will sure show you some music. I want to play the flute while someone licks my boots.
Seeing how you're Lord of the Underworld and all, can't you just transfigure yourself into Brad Pitt and pleasure women at will?
Also, do you have the power to watch me when I'm masturbating? If so, why would you ever want to?
Marc Murph,
Unless you have a wound to heal in your mouth. Otherwise, yes. Yes it is.
Satan, I meant it when I said get behind me.
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