Monday, January 23, 2006

watch the video
i love this thing
i love watching people like this go apeshit because they meet someone that doesn't follow jesus christ around all day long
they scream and judge people and generally treat people like trash in the name of being warriors of god
i watch this like ten times a day and laugh so hard i piss myself and put out half the fires in hell
i get behind thee and i had tears running down our faces earlier today while we were going through your questions
the funniest part of this shit is that she doesnt know it yet but shes mine
i cant wait to see the look on this ones face when she shows up at my door
the gargoyles will seem like they were a picnic
these are my favorites they provide the most entertainment when the hit the gates of hell all of their repenting and shit and they dont even know it is too late at this point
they dont even realize why they come to me
i get behind thee and i are working on some eternal punishments for this one it is going to be an absolute scream
for her
any suggestions
by the way we got a lot of questions so this is what we are going to do
i get behind thee and i are working on them and we are going to post the answers tomorrow on consult the dark forces or wwsdw - what would satan do wednesday


At 6:59 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan, you're not being fair... unless you link everyone.. could you take mine down?

Don't you think everyone should be treated equally? We really don't know each other that well or anything...

Just an observation!

At 7:02 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

I'm going to need you to try a little harder on the posts there, underlord.
It almost seems like you rushed to throw something together because you saw that we'd updated and shit.

Can I get sloppy seconds on Shannon?

At 7:02 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Oh and btw, we want more i get behind thee.

At 7:13 PM, Blogger Bob Dole said...

That's the hottest thing Bob Dole's ever seen.

At 7:14 PM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

Satan, let me at Jesus. I know he's generally off limits, but he called you out and I want a crack at him. I know I normally only get to whale on an apostle while you and J throw, but I got you back Dark Lorded One. Remember last time we rumbled with them outside of Scores? Its hard to tell who got the best of you and Jesus b/c of your complexion. And that one apostle scratched me! He fought like a woman! He was wearing liner. I swear to You he was!

Shannon, I'm sorry but you're forbidden fruit for me. S has designs on you. Its not my job to schtupp the show stoppers. Just Satan's leftovers. And a mink like you is no table scrap. Enjoy the limelight as our sole blog of note. We will likely add more naughties soon.

At 7:19 PM, Blogger FLAMINGO1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:21 PM, Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

I saw her on google and this lady freaks my shit out. Somebody should warn her about mixing christian rock and speed.

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Hmmm this is interesting..

At 7:29 PM, Blogger FLAMINGO1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:52 PM, Blogger Pastor Jordan said...

Bless you, my son. May Jesusss bless and keep you.


At 7:58 PM, Blogger LBseahag said...

she looks like a fat tracy ullman...

At 8:07 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan *Wink*

At 8:17 PM, Blogger Satan said...

shannon because i have such love and respect for you i will do as you desire and remove your link

you are the best and i mean it

but dont be a stranger


promise you will stop by and see me every once in a while


At 8:23 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

Arrr.....I new Satan was a squid stick after all.

The Capt saw the previews fer that show and was scared then as well as now.

Aye...Im sure God appreciates her dedication, but that lass had better calm down before ye has a heartattack

At 8:24 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Wild horses couldn't keep me away!!

Don't be a stranger either.. I dig you.. you're a sweet Satan lol

At 8:28 PM, Blogger Eve said...

Oh FUCK ME... he he he... that episode of Wife Swap kicked my ASS.

I must have watched it 10 times before I nuked it on the old tivo. That video ALONE is reason enough to be in bed with Satan. Ha ha ha

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Polyman2 said...

She's got holy junk
in her warrior trunk!

At 8:47 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

i get behind thee, Dude, you may totally come after me. I give you permission and I outrank your boss and shit.

Plus he's kinda been a tool lately.

At 9:45 PM, Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Bring back lil' Beelzebub

At 9:51 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

Arrr.....Satan Im taggin yer arse, and hangin ye in me quaters for all ta see...

At 10:08 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

well actually for me it would be Thursday. But i guess i can mentally substitute the W for a T. Unless you would be kind enough to call it wwsdw/t. thank you.

At 10:10 PM, Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

I am so terribly confused by this blue beast that lurks beneath my yellow raincoat and doesn't have a pirate accent. and likes snelching. please save my soul Satan....

At 10:18 PM, Blogger Satan said...

captain carl you are about to become a smoking pile of rubble

now you are talking shannon come to papa satan i told you i was irresistable

nowhere girl did you say fuck me
cant you see that shannon is right here

i will swing by your place later now keep it cool while you know who is around

polyman2 she got nuthin but junk in that trunk and that trunk is going to be sitting on some burning hot coals for a very very long time

wont she be surprised

bill i get behind thee comes and goes

i never know where that little demon is but he can sure pull down some smoking hot babes

aka shannon

captain carl i have had it with your little sailor outfit and your constant irritation

do you realize who i am

plus i was already tagged by erin you sardine pole

jungle jane please try to stay on the greenwich hell time i cant accommodate every time zone especially for all of great britains prison colonies

captain carla how you doin sweet thing want to hang out with a sperm whale instead of the little fish dick youve been seeing

At 10:25 PM, Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

Jungle Jane is not a fish dick, Satan!

At 10:26 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

ARRRR....I thought ye might eat up the friend Flamingo posted in his blog "Why should you have it easier than I do? I mean, after all, I am here busting my ass to make this whole thing happen with little or no guidance..."

The Capt felt the same.

Now ye just have ta work twice as hard at taggin.....
or ye can spend all day sulkin in Hell!

At 11:31 PM, Blogger YellowSock said...

Satan, just do me on Wednesday and for get about all that hard work answering stupid questions from these wanna be sinners. Sure they smothered their grandma for inheritances, or decided to see if a dog's ass really felt "as good," or love to watch the 700 Club...I know it takes more than that to take you where you wanna go, eh?

At 11:39 PM, Blogger J.R. Kinnard said...

You guys were at Scores? Shit, I was there watching Lohan and Kate Moss do their pole dance! At least, I watched Lohan. I couldn't see Moss 'cause the pole got in the way.

At 12:00 AM, Blogger --- said...

Oh my fucking god that video is fucking hilarious! I laughed so hard I about pissed my pants!

Only you could have created a creature like that!

At 6:14 AM, Blogger Satan said...

iheartsausage i think i can both get the questions answered and do you

ill swing by shortly

ks damn straight i got mad skills

i like to make one of these every now and then just to drive people away from church

this works better than plague pestilence war murder famine and all the other really big things i enjoy

this woman probably drove more of you my way than anything other than lust and porn

lust and porn are still my favorites

At 6:24 AM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

hey satan, maybe you ought to leave this broad over there at JC's place. She's probably more trouble than she's worth.

Plus, you've got Pat Robertson to look forward to.

At 8:14 AM, Blogger Shannon said...


At 8:56 AM, Blogger none - ya said...

That woman is fucking apeshit. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at someone in my life. I was almost embarrassed for her and then I remember how small your cock is and I was embarrassed for you just a little more.

At 9:45 AM, Blogger drunkbh said...

"Get the HELL out of my house in Jesus's name I pray!" "I am the warrior!"

What a fucking nutcase!

At 12:04 PM, Blogger Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Hahaha, that's awesome. I could not stop laughing during that episode.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Tumbleweed said...

"It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes"...had that in my head, thought I would share.

At 1:01 PM, Blogger kellywalters said...

holy shit..

wow... she really needs some pills..

dude seriously..

JC give that woman some pills

At 1:17 PM, Blogger Satan said...

erin there is plenty of room in hell for this woman and pat robertson

that guy is going to be the absolute best

wait until he finds out his celebrity roast is truly a roast

shannon dang girl you are hooooootttt wink

step off mack n z i shannon has stolen me away from you

i am considering changing my evil ways for her

that girl is so sweet she can make satan melt

drunkbh it reminds me of that song

i am the warrior

anonymous midwest girl if i wasnt all smarmy over shannon you would have some potential

have you met i get behind thee yet

i think you two might have a little chemistry

most likely it will result in an exothermic reaction but it is chemistry

tumbleweed it is going to get hotter before it is over

why dont you and anonymous hook up with i get behind thee

he can handle two at once

where the hell are you

damn minions are never around when you need one

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan~ You gotta admit there are some hotttt chicas in here.. I give you permission to do what you like, with whoever you like... I will just play in this lava stuff..just don't tell me about it.. shhhhh =)

At 1:55 PM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

AMG, I'm steppin to you. I saw your blog and you got it goin on. Don't be afraid to come to Hell. We have a Hummer, tons of sweet videos and lots of sauce. We have a dance off every Friday night, which I usually win (unless Satan is drinking 8 Ball).

Tumbleweed, that is a sweet rack. Sweetest thing I've seen since Sears began making Craftsman tools. I'm totally fluffed. You must visit us in Hell. I would treat you like a Dark Queen.

At 2:45 PM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

damnit to hell and take me with you..

hi satan.. and i thee ???
(yeah sorry i forgot the whole name)

it happens! ... ('ere.. want some of this for now?)

so i just wanted you to know my undying love for you has NOT waned.. i was out for a bit..

thanks and fuck all.. including the "warriors".. ok so fuck them last..

At 3:24 PM, Blogger Satan said...


welcome back

stay a while

stay for eternity

remember last week when we were all messed up after partying all night long and it was like four in the morning and we were going to go home and you couldnt find your thong

we found it later in bill the apostles pocket

every once in a while he would take them out and hold them up like he was curious what he would look like wearing it

oddly he looked pretty good

At 4:00 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

Satan, does Angelina Jolie hang out down here much?

At 4:20 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

I want my questions answered!! *Wink*... that or a sundae

At 12:33 AM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

satan:.. LMAO.. taht jesus guy is odd i tell ya.. any other self serving man woulda said im gonna find the chick that smells like these .. she was AWESOME ...

and thanks satan.. im coming ..

back .. *sin grin*


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