Monday, January 16, 2006

my life as lord of the underworld is pretty cool

I pretty much do whatever i want as i make efforts to further my goal of dominating the universe and bringing gods rule of heaven to an end

im pretty damn good at it too

but some things about it kind of suck ive said many times that i have given you greedy bastards some pretty damn good stuff

i have given you porn - everybody loves porn

i brought you sex - not missionary sex but the good stuff including vibrators dildos anal beads double headed dildos little butterfly things that sit on your clitoris lubrications and

i have given you filthy dirty butt sex - see also porn and sex

i have brought you greed pride envy gluttony lust sloth and wrath - all quality fun

i have brought you possession - without that no good horror movies

i gave you priests that fondle small boys - screwing the catholic church

rumor has it i built hadrians wall - i will neither confirm nor deny that

but as i have mentioned on many of your blogs while god may have created stuff i took that stuff and made it good i made it fun i made it cool

according to the book of john 12:31 i am even considered the prince of the world

can someone please explain to me that if i am the prince of the world and if i brought to all of you humans these wonderful gifts why doesnt anyone ever scream out my name while they are fucking

just once i want to hear

oh my satan this is so fucking good oh satan oh satan oh satan holy shit mother fucking satan is this good

just once


At 1:26 AM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Satan, baby, my next climax is ALL yours. Even if I'm alone.

At 3:04 AM, Blogger jungle jane said...

Satan i just recorded my answering machine message yelping your name and telling my callers to leave a message after the climax. i think i farted near the end but you would never be able to tell....

At 4:52 AM, Blogger honeyhive said...

Oh satan Oh satan is it in yet?

At 6:22 AM, Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Maybe if you worked that ass a little bit more.

All you ever fucking do is lay there on your stomach

At 7:27 AM, Blogger Satan said...

erin i like your style

you know how to make a fallen angel smile with delight


jesus christ reads this and that was our little secret

jungle jane i am going to call you later to hear it

dont answer ok

then maybe you and i can go out and kick it somewhere interested in getting a frosty at wendys later

i am comfortable enough with my member to admit that honeyhive is hung better than i am

that is one chick with a huge dick

At 8:02 AM, Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Hey Satan,

Thanks for dropping in the other night. It is always good to get together and double up on some cooter.

Sorry about the facial. I wouldn't have pulled out if I had known you were gonna stick your face there. Won't happen again.
It was a hell of a map though, wasn't it? I'm sure you've had that happen before.

Stop by later, I've got a bunch of German tourists headed over here tonight.

At 9:51 AM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

gotta love this new trend..

At 11:00 AM, Blogger LBseahag said... complete me.

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Eve said...

The porn and butt-sex is enough for me to get on my knees and kiss your red pointy toes.

At 2:11 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...


I have risen to the underworld!

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

I agree, Satan. honeyhive seems to be hung like an anaconda.

Woot woot!

At 3:31 PM, Blogger scumbag said...

hi satan! long time no see.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Dude, that's got to be like the gayest minion i've ever seen and shit. Is that like your mascot?

At 3:44 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

i love how the minion practises pubic topiary...

At 4:02 PM, Blogger none - ya said...

I know you're all pissed cause you have a little wang and all and couldn't make me cum, but were the bite marks on my arm really necessary? How am I supposed to explain that shit to bitches on the street?

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Ohhh Satan~ Thanks for the visit and all but I am not "One of you" sooo ummm press on in your search for souls to steal.. thanks!

At 4:51 PM, Blogger LBseahag said...

I am...but i prefer sex with Jews...

At 5:19 PM, Blogger Satan said...

mack-n-z just wait unitl i pull out my little pitchfork trick

i will use it like a tuning fork and touch it to your labial piercing and hold it there until it makes you cum so hard your head explodes

Shannon you are a sweet piece o' meat

i think you need someone with a firm hand to show you the way

the fact that you came here makes it clear just how curious you are about big daddy satan

At 6:38 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Hey satan, what the fuck's a labial?


At 7:13 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Oh okay, I see it now. I stand corrected, dark one. Carry on.

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Satan said...

never challenge me in the area of vaginal topography

nor secretions

jesus you were a 33 year old virgin who now lives with his dad we really dont expect you to know these things

and sometimes we laugh at you behind your back

At 8:35 PM, Blogger Melanhead said...

Salutations Satan. As an underling of Louisiana, I would like to humbly remind you about the Mardi Gras king cake, in which the Baby Jesus gets stuffed into its so called Bread of Life and gets cooked, and then eaten by some poor unfortunate soul.

Cum by, and you can feast your eyes on the helpless Jesus. Maybe it'll make you feel better.


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