Hell Convention and Visitors Bureau
Welcome to Hell, the Underworld's largest region. Where blue skies don't exist and there are miles of flaming beaches along the fiery seas of lava creating a gentle Mediterranean climate which begs for a day of everything and nothing. Bordered by Mexico, the Middle East, Somalia and the Sudan, Hell's infinite square miles offer immense options for business and pleasure.Visitor Information: General Visitors Information for Hell - tips and information on Hell.
Free Vacation Planning and Tips: Vacation in Hell yes you will be in Hell.
Where to Stay: Hotel Hell - check out anytime you like but you can never leave.
Things to do:
Torture Museum
Elvis Performing Nightly
Dante's - Nine Levels of Shopping
Getting Around: Charon's River Shuttle Service
Dining and Nightlife:
Mexican
Diners
Fine Dining
posted by Satan @ 10:26 PM
27 comments
27 Comments:
I just booked my flight, PLUS, got bonus frequent flyer miles! Woo Hoo!
Please tell me there's better Mexican food than that. I realize you are behind their empire but I cannot spend eternity eating it. That would make Hell seem like Hell.
Dear Satan,
You are funny as hell. The catholics wish they were half as funny as you. Course, you probably have most of them anyway.
Is Santa there? I'd like to know. I love Christmas.
If that blonde guy is the only single guy in heaven, i better start feeding the poor and helping elderly ladies...
I'ts easy to turn the tables on Bill; he can't even tie a knot (hence the boots). All you need is a little ether and a pair of panty hose and he's all yours.
I'm not spending my vacation in hell unless I get full & free access to the bar.
Well it looks like this blog has just about run its course.
You want Bill? Wait, let me wake him up. . .
jesus you can smoke my pole
nowhere girl you are welcome to visit hell anytime
i will make certain that you get the vip treatment
death you know how i feel man
i have nothing but love for you and i have your back
your job is a bitch
ihatesausage part of being in hell is suffering and that is suffering
but between you and me we can get fanfuckingtastic mexican food there anytime we want
erin we have most of the catholic priests
santa is not here he is still alive and comes to my house every year
bill the apostle noted
you are not gay you just like to be crammed in the ass
got it
lbseahag you need to revisit my post dated 1/15/2006
i think your question will be adequately answered
jesus christ you can smoke my pole
i guess i already said that
ing that is great work
keep recruiting bill he is playing for the wrong team
gene your attempts to run for mayor of hell are fruitless
hell is a monarchy and i am the lord of the underworld
might i suggest a revolution
Dude, are you coming over for drunken fire jenga later?
i was going to come over for drunken fire jenga later but you have been sort of an asshole lately
i might just hang out at home and have a hot pocket and watch made o nmtv
Made is fucking totally cool dog. I like wacking off to fat chicks trying to be popular and shit like that.
Jeez, I had no idea how sensitive you are. I may have to start calling you the clit of the underworld.
The dark clit.
Beelzaclit.
I won't tease you anymore for awhile, I promise. Now come on back and I'll get you wasted and let you look through my moms underwear drawer... just like when we were kids.
Something tells me she's never been with a guy that could make her cum.
I really do feel sad about fucking with satan too hard. Damn.
I offered him my moms underwear drawer. I thought for sure he'd be into that. I guess I'll write a letter. He's just so sensitive.
Like a girl.
i'm here for the catholic priests. which one of you called??
dude looks like eminem
dont worry dudes
i have been secretly tapping ihatesausage
she really loves sausage
her link has been added to the my blog
shannon is a good girl
shes cool with what i got going with ihatesausage
hey bill i think we could get ihatesausage to do the two man hogsaw if you are interested
Please come home.
IGBT, will you tell satan I'm sorry and shit.
Well I just miss that guy. It's like he never comes around anymore. I'm totally going to take him out for a bloomin' onion from max and erma's and shit.
as long as you are sorry i forgive you
you just hurt my feelings knocking my blog like that
it has taken me a lot of effort to step into the twenty first century recruiting tactics for souls
and then to be criticised so harshly by you
it hurt
i am doing the best i can out here with tempting souls to come to me
i work my god damn pointy tail off to rob you of good people
while i have made great strides with catholic priests there is still a lot of work to do out there in blog land
have you seen all the bible thumpers out there
and they are so rigid in their beliefs
how am i going to corrupt them
this job is just so overwhelming some days
and then with all that pressure i am getting from cowbell gene
i spent all morning curled up in the fetal position crying quietly to myself
being lord of the underworld is not always as much fun as it looks
well in all honesty I happen to love your site. I just ruffle your feathers, little guy. That's all.
And you've been a big hit.
you've taken nowhere girl from me (and I really liked her too)
You've taken Erin (well, she was on the fence at best from the beginning, but you totally won.)
Jungle Jane has never even stopped by (She has always been yours)
shannon has never been by and she's totally hot.
You're not exactly unsuccessful over here.
Let's get drunk and wager some souls like in the old days (before I was born and shit)
Oh, well that's nice Bill.
Keep up the good work.
jeesh.
Satan, shoot me an email, b. I think you already know how to find me.
dont even try to punk my minions bill
sure he looks like a pussy and he says good heavens and shit
but you dont want to see i get behind thee pissed off
that dude will rip your head off and shit down your windpipe
i get behind thee remember that time we were at magic mountain and that dude knocked my snowcone out of my hand and you went all apeshit on him
they had to close down that section of the park and get one of those kids with a broom and dustpan to clean it up before anyone could ride on that superman ride again
Satan, dude, shoot me an email dog. We just set up the Christ account and shit.
Don't leave the JC with his cock in his hand.
Listen, if you are going to win my vote you've gotta provide some good cab, dude.
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