consult the dark forces - what would satan do
it is that time of the week again
i get behind thee and i are here and are ready to field questions regarding your daily life
this week, we will select one or two questions
last week was too much damn work
ask us a question and we will provide an answer that should help you earn your way into hell
remember getting into hell is never a sure thing so it is important that you start living your life the right way to make certain that your place there is secured
if you don't plan ahead then you may have to lose a fiddle playing contest to get in and to be honest i am not that good if i dont have the band of demons joining in to make an evil hiss
posted by Satan @ 7:41 PM
17 comments
17 Comments:
Why the fuck do I sit here covered in blood night after fucking night with a disemboweled dead virgin in my lap calling your name and you never fucking show?
Same question as last week...who gets Hasselhoff? I need to know. This is serious Satan. I'll wear the nun outfit if you riddle me this.
Dude, do you remember that time when you bet us that you could hit the 5 footer and not get high and it was like the first or second time you'd ever smoked pot and Slim put his hands over you mouth and you held the whole hit in for like a minute... then passed out in the bathroom next to the toilet.
My question is, do you have any idea how many fine ass girls were right over your head everytime they had to use the bathroom? Were you really passed out or just checking out the hedges? I would've stayed there all night.
Dude, are you ever going to hit us up on the email?
I guess that was actually 3 questions.
Sorry, again.
You're going to hell if you don't email me back.
Tata, goodnight... ;)
how come God got a cool movie with George Burns and John Denver and you didnt?
Questions
1. What up, beaotch?
2. Will you still love me tomorrow?
3. To whom did Thom Jones dedicate The
Pugilist At Rest?
4. Should I continue this thing I have with Bill? It
feels so right, Satan! So wrong and so right!
what would satan do to detached eyeballs that looked like swimming sperm?
Does swallowing as opposed to spitting heighten my chances into hell?
I had the most disturbing dream last night regarding oral sex and a family member. Ugghhh. I hate that. I'm going to hell, aren't I?!
Though, we already knew that...
Nowhere Girl, please elaborate.
yes please elaborate while referring to me as uncle satan
lol
he he... ELABORATE?! It was bad enough living through it once. *roll eyes*
My brother, though he kept morphing into someone else. I don't know who, though I think it's this guy who works at Walgreens. Anyhoo, I was performing it. My husband kept walking by, putting away groceries.
It was the most FUCKED up thing?!
Did someone say my name? ...like 3-4 times?
nowhere girl
your brother
even i think that is fucked up
jesus christ no i didnt hear anyone say douchebag
hairy prison guard i understand how you feel
bill the apostle can sometimes be mean and his friends can sometimes be very judgmental
you really should consider hanging around with me
we could use someone in hell with your prison guard qualifications
trust me hairy prison guard
i know what is best for you
now come stay hang out with me for a while
can i interest you in a little friendly wager on a fiddle playing contest
perhaps an eternity
I have tears I'm laughing so hard.
Satan, you look as though you would have a big dick.
Even though I have already nailed a lord of the underworld, I wouldn't mind giving it another go.
Are you in?
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