Tuesday, January 24, 2006


Shannon said...
What plans?
satans response
shannon i think i answered this one already but i have some plans to make you my sweetie

of course i would still have a few other sweeties because i am satan and stuff but you would be like my main sweetie


ing said...

Okay, Satan, this has been bothering me for days, and I can't sleep until I solve it:

A train departs London, England at exactly 0200 hours GMT and runs SSE,going 90 KM/H. At exactly 0200 a train departs Chengdu, China, going 130li/h. Each train, by coincidence, contains 503 passengers. Half of the passengers on the London train are sailors in the Royal British Navy, while one quarter of the passengers on the Chinese train are wearing sailor hats, despite that they are civilians.

One of the trains hits a cow.

Which train was it?

satans response

it was the train that i get behind thee and i are going to pull on your ass mama

just kidding

it was the train that left london

the train that left chengdu china would have hit a MU NIU

assuming you were in a region with the mandarin dialect


IHateSausage said...

My question is...are you going to punish me for taking all your pills? (Please?)
You know the ones...you left them here when we where playingfist-in-the-dark?
I'll be waiting when Shannon leaves you with a firey case of blue-balls.


satans response
i knew you were going to take those pills ihatesausage

thats why i switched em with jungle janes cat laxatives

i am the lord of evil

i wasnt born yesterday

thank you for thinking about my balls


jungle jane said...

hey gang! has anyone seen my cat's laxatives? little pills? i thought i mebbe left them over here at Satan's place?

i get behind thees response

Jungle Jane--I wondered why no one was touching the coffee in the breakroom this morning. Satan usually has a cup at 8 and takes a dump at 8:30 every morning, but he was in the head for 2 hours today. I also wondered why he was clawing the corner of one of the couches this morning. Also explains why the girl we offered what we thought was x to, pooped in the Hell Hummer the other nite.

satans response

now lets see i thought ihatesausage took em when we were playing fist in the dark dammit i switched the x with those other pills and then put the first pills on the...

shit i screwed up and put those cat laxatives in my arse

is that why i spent all day on the crapper and then kept trying to cover it up with sand


IHateSausage said...

Fuck you Jane! It's a good thing I can use the laptop on the jon so I can tell you how wicked you are! Kudos, wish I'd thought of it.

satans response

damn it i get behind thee this isnt even a question did you read this shit or what

but it is sort of interesting to know ihate sausage blogs on the shitter


Lady Hearteater said...

DUDE. I'm with you. JC won't even put out the food and wine and shit, let alone his stash. I KNOW that fucker is holding. What sort of host is he? I would still welcome him, as all are welcome.

satans response

hes a crummy host

i get behind thee remember that one time hundreds of people got together with him to listen to a speech and he had pounded down all the wine except one jug and ate all the fish except two and almost all the bread

then they came to him to perform a miracle and all he did was stick a fingerdown his throat and vomit and said look theres enough for everyone

that jackass sat there and laughed while everyone ate his vomit and then took credit for it like it was some sort of a miracle

you gotta watch out for that guy

he is full of shit half the time an stoned the other half


ing said...

Really? In my case, Jeezy has been pretty generous with his stash (AND his apostle). He gave me these little pills. . .

satans response

yes really


Shannon said...

"Erin you are right why am i wasting time with these trollops when i could be knocking boots with you

looked at your erin obrien naked link

you are evil

if you showed me more i would be in heaven"

I am appalled!! Now you know why I didn't show up last night for our date! I would tell you to go to hell but that's like telling Mickey Mouse to go to Disneyland!! My question is why do you speak about ladies this way? I thought you turned over a new leaf.. it's a sad day.. I cannot forgive such evilness..


satans response

cmon baby i am satan

i have an image to uphold

this is just business and i gotta keep my pimp hand strong

it dont mean nothing

lets you and me get together later and talk about this

if i cant be evil then i am not going to remain lord of the underworld for very long now am i and then i wont have all those nice things you want like hummer limos and krystal

remember all the good times we had baby we need to get away from all this shit and just work on our relationship

i lust you


jungle jane said...

Shannon are you saying that Mickey Mouse is in fact Satan? Wow! and here was me thinking Satan was actually Santa!

satans response

it looks like this is really a question for shannon instead of for satan

jungle jane did you miss the damn point here t

his is ask questions to satan not shannon do i need to show you the pimp hand

you will find the taste of the back of my hand most displeasing


RoxiMoon said...

sounds interesting.. can you awnser me a question then.. why the fuck are we still wearing underwear.. I mean really.. I dont think underwear has a real purpose but to slow things down.... wait.. there is a purpose for men to wear them.. skid marks.. but us ladies barely wear anything anyway.. I think all women.. (( hot ones only)) should be able to go around naked..


i get behind thees response

RoxiMoron--Underwear is Jesus' fault; he created it and his Dad madeAdam and Eve blush when he probed Adam in the Garden of Eden. As anaside, we were rolling with him and his crew in SoBeach two years ago,and when the wind whipped his robe up, I saw his drawers. Pretty filthytighty whities with a nasty chockie running down the back. Underwearserve no purpose, other than to keep the ladies from getting a smooth view of the behind of I Get Behind Thee and helping to protect Master Nibblet from the ravages of rough jeans and other fabrics. But not like100% cotton boxers are that soft either. The better question is why dosocial norms require me to wash my hands after touching my schlong? I mean, I clean it in the shower (really, that's just cleaning I swear), then put him in my clean boxers where he rests all day, waiting tospring on the ladies after dark. He's way cleaner than my hands,touching filthy stuff all day. Ladies, from now on, when we meet, I will introduce myself and ask you to shake my hog.

satans response

roximoon women need to wear underwear also otherwise we will be able to track you by your slime trail sort of like a banana slug

in addition to the skid mark issue men wear underwear to keep their balls from flopping too much

there is a delicate balance of nature you do not want your balls to be too tight but you cant have them just flopping around either


LBseahag said...

Is he speaking portuguese?


satans response

i get portuguese spanish italian confused but i think it is mandarin chinese

by the way mu niu is mandarin chinese for cow


Bill the Apostle said...Satan...why didnt you tell me you had herpes?


ummm shannon theres something i need to tell you


captain carl said...

Arr...T' be about time Satan got a friend. Now they can play naughty witheach other. Here be the Capt's question

What do ye want to burn Men's Souls for?...Why not give everybody ice cream.


satans answer
captain carl joined the legions of hell this week
he now knows first hand the wonders of hell

burning mens souls is what i do
i am satan
i started burning souls shortly after becoming a fallen angel

and i was good at it
i now have your soul captain carl
and you shall get no ice cream

in hell ice cream lasts for less than the time apostle bill can stay on his bull


Lady Hearteater said...Why am I suddenly VERY thirsty when I come here?

satans response

you are thirsty for truth lady hearteater

you have been drinking from the fountain of jesus christ and bill the apostle for far too long and it has left you thirsty

you have been fed the lies from those like pat robertson for far too long and it has left you wanting

either that or it is just hotter than shit down here


DorianGray1854 said...

How come man is so devoted to material possesions, and if you can answerthat, then why do some chics taste like green apple Jolly Ranchers and how come that damn owl feels the need to fuck with everyone and just bite into the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Oh yeah and why don't you get a free one anymore if you find the indianshooting the star?***********************
satans answer
greed is mine
jesus christ says share your shit but you people dont listen i love that about you

some chics taste like green apple jolly ranchers to symbolize the fall of man in the garden of eden
when that sneaky eve talked adam into tasting the apple the taste of that apple stayed with her to symbolize her evil act
oh that and they got periods
some girls taste like green apple jolly ranchers due to the new green apple jolly rancher summers eve line of products now available at your local target store

owls do not have adequate tongues for licking
trust me
the last time i got a blowjob from an owl it was awful
three licks and the fucker bit me

douche they never actually gave out free tootsie pops that was an urban myth created to make dumb fucks like you look like dumb fucks



Polyman2 said...

umm, Satan?

Is it true that if you must choosebetween 2 evils,then pick the one you'venever tried before?

satans answer
pick both
why choose between them
i never said you had to choose
i say take two


ing said...

Woah, Satan/Santa said he was going to be distributing advice, and now Janeis distributing advice, which -- and I'm no good at algebra -- means thatJane is Satan and Santa.


And Omar, I wish you hadn't swiped those pills Jesus gave me. Before yougobbled them up, I was going to return them. And now I suppose you'll notonly have to answer to Jane for the theft, but to SATAN, LORD OF BRIMSTONEAND ETERNAL TORTURE, MWA HA HA HA ha ha harrrr. . .

satans answer

ing said...

Also, was Charles Manson really Jesus, or did he just say that so everyonewould love him?

satans answer
charles manson said that he was jesus because he thought it would get him chicks
he got squeeky fromme
have you seen her
thats the kind of chicks that jesus christ pulls
he talks shit and pulls in skank nothing but skank


ing said...

And why is the sky blue?

satans answer
what you see is the underside of gods balls
god is in heaven
god gets no lovin or at least not the right kind of lovin


ing said...

Because of you?

satans answer

hell no
he has blue balls because of his personality
you ever talk to god
total stick up his ass
jesus christ talks the talk but he dont walk the walk
god is always all serious and shit and the chicks just dont have any interest
plus he is old


ing said...

Have you ever eaten fondĂșe?

satans answer

in hell everytime i have a hershey bar it is fondue
same with cheese
we almost always eat fondue
we sometimes fondue the body of christ

ing said...

Do you shop at J. Crew?

satans answer

satan is somewhat of a metrosexual
if i had hair i would joodge it

ing do you have a fucking life


ing said...

Me too.

satans answer


Jasmine said...

I will swim miles to see you.

Want to play?



satans answer

ok jaz you creep me out just a little bit
i do not want to play
i want to burn your ass over fiery coals
how do you like that game you fishy little wench


Polyman2 said...

Yo Satan,

How do feel about oysters,

are they evil?

satans answer

hells yeah oysters are evil
they make you want to hump
anything that adds to your temptation is good stuff
plus they remind me of chicks especially the atlantic bearded clam


RoxiMoon said...

take it the fuck off baby!OHH yeah..oh.. and by the way..jane honey.. I found your cats pills but now I cant find my dogs sopositories.. you know.. satan thought those felt real good..have you seen them jane?

btw.. satan.. I love your scaly strachy skin.. almost works better then myrazor at getting the hair off.. and it dosnt grow back right away! who said I need eyebrows.

satans answer
jane has been inserting them into her arse
i am still trying to figure out what an arse is

you do not need eyebrows they just burn off anyway


drunkbh said...

If you can't beat off with hooves, why don't you change one to a hand atleast until the deed is done?


i get behind thees response

Drunkbh-I in fact CAN smack it around with my hooves, you just have tobe careful and use lots of lotion. The good news is Satan and I rarelyhave to resort to Solitaire given our prowess with mortal babes. Butyes, once last year, S, I and all the minions come home flat out of ass.Bars in Milwaukee are like 80/20 guys/girls and we came up empty. Theworst part was Satan walked into the john on me while I was goin totown. He took pics and gave me shit for like two weeks. As if hewasn't choking his chicken in his room! The nerve. It also helps touse a lanolin-based penis cream a few times a day to help keep El GrandeWorme from getting too beat up.

satans response

i am satan
i can change to a snake but then i have no hands at all
it does feel good to rub across the ground for a while though
besides sometimes i get behind thee gives me a helping hand


Shannon said...

Umm my last questions would be...

Why do birds sing so gay?

Do lawyers really go to hell?

Why do men totally suck azz?

Please answer these questions in the order they were received,*Psst answermine first* Thanks!

satans answer

jesus made them gay i made them shit on your car

i can absolutely assure you that lawyers go to hell that is an absolute certainty
i have never been so sure of anything ever
every lawyer is mine

i cant tell you why all men totally suck azz but this dude right here would totally suck your azz
oh baby you know what you do to me when you start talking about azz
i lose it


Nowhere Girl said...

Satan- I haven't gotten a dose of your evil in a few days. Boo hoo. Poor me... =(Guess I haven't been naughty enough?!

satans answer

dont sell yourself short nowhere girl you have stored up plenty of naughty points

you are mine

you will be mine for eternity

i have others out there that are pure and innocent

it is sort of my job to corrupt them

spending time trying to corrupt you is sort of like spending time trying to make hell hot

been there done that


shit this was a lot of work

satan has bitches that need his attention

i get behind thee next time we need to pick like one question to answer

also we should select one question that will assist these pathetic pukes with their daily lives

satan lusts you


At 9:48 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

You put these post's up soooo late!! Don't you know it's way past my bed-time?? Thanks for answering the questions!!!

Ohhh, and don't think for a second you're off the hook, your friend stood me up with the limo thingie... which is on you.. pffffft!!

Ohhh and work on my sundae please =)

At 10:39 PM, Blogger YellowSock said...

Satan, I would bludgeon this wench that teases you so, but I am certain to would only speed her into your crib for eternity.

Please stop by my place first, I'd rather not smell her on you...I'm allergic to cunt.

At 11:48 PM, Blogger ing said...


If you can transform yourself into Bill the Apostle, I'll give you a go. Otherwise, maybe I'll call you sometime.

Zai jian,

At 1:57 AM, Blogger jungle jane said...

fuckin oath, about fuckin time. i ask a simple fuckin question and a week later i finally get a fuckin reply.


C U N T S.

At 1:58 AM, Blogger jungle jane said...

p.s. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA nice one, Sausage

At 6:37 AM, Blogger Satan said...

ladies ladies

satan is a busy dude

im out there pimpin and dealin all night and all day

i get behind thee and i got the questions answered

there were a lot of them
i was supposed to meet jesus christ and bill the apostle at a stripper bar last night and by the time i get behind thee and i showed up they were already broke

and i am not going to hang around a stripper bar and pay for jesus christ and bill the apostle

so instead we went back to bills place and watched porn

and lets not forget that it was you dirty wenches that left all those stupid questions about the sky and gods balls and so on and so forth

i would have had this posted sooner if you hadnt been busting my balls

At 6:40 AM, Blogger Satan said...


i just looked at my calendar

what day is it


and what day did that what would satan do wednesday post go up


thus i was early and you can all stop your damn bitchin

i am gonna have to pull out the pimp hand

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Holy shit dude. That was some mega fucking work you just did. Thats why It's cool being an apostle and shit, I jut kind of hang out and pick up the scraps.

Anyway I'll see you at Shooters.

At 7:18 AM, Blogger Eve said...

Holy FUCK, that must have taken you forever you silly little bitch...

At 7:22 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Damn dude, there's no way I'd of answered all that bullshit.
I retract my comment about wanting to hear more from i get behind thee, once he gets started he doesn't shut the fuck up.

I'll buy the first round and shit.

At 7:25 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

PS- That whole post was pretty toolish, like "I'll spend three hours on a post and give you whatever you want, just please be my friend and shit"

At 7:33 AM, Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Hey JC, was that you behind the Gloryhole last night?

Nice work.

At 7:35 AM, Blogger waygon112 said...

Satan / Santa........why is hell so hot?
Don't you think if you wanted to attract more souls, having it be more like Bermuda would help?

At 7:56 AM, Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

no shit. what a fucking ass kisser, Ive never spent more than three minutes on a post.


At 8:00 AM, Blogger Satan said...

bill the apostle lets hit shooters early

i am in a mood and i want to get tore up

remember that last time we were at shooters and you were working that chick buying her drinks all night and shit

and then you got her home and found out that she was hung better than you which means she was at least four inches

i almost pissed myself that night

jesus christ i have taken enough of your shit man

go tell your daddy that i am being mean and shit cus you got nothin you are a little bitch

barely second in command

and since daddy is immortal you arent even going to inherit the business bitch

meanwhile i have a constant uphill battle

i think we have covered this ground before about how everybody loves jesus and jesus loves everybody

do you realize how much work it is to get any play being satan

i cant just smile and say come to me my flocks

i need to dangle some goodies

speaking of dangling some goodies

dongley my man hows it hanging buddy

remember when we were nailing those hotties and you were standing naked at one end of the room and used little dongley to pole vault yourself into bed with that hot blonde bitch

that shit was fucked up

wayne youre too late

questions for wwsd wednesday had to be in by monday

go to hell

At 8:08 AM, Blogger waygon112 said...

I'm at work, therefore I'm already in hell

And don't get an attitude with me Satan. I'll ask questions any damn time I please!!!!!

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

ARRR....I escaped Hell, and now Me be hauntin ye........BOO!

At 8:14 AM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

Dude I saw Bill kissing that one cross dressing stripper when we walked in. He tried to play it off cool but he know I caught him slippin

The best part was the lap dancer chasing JC down the sidewalk and cracking him in the eye when he 'forgot' to pay for the dance. I think he soiled himself.

At 8:16 AM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

Wayne, respect this.

Denny's is the home of The Slams after all. Dont make S and I dust your ass off and throw you in a dumpster ala the Black Widows in Every Which Way but Loose.

At 8:16 AM, Blogger Satan said...


you dare challenge the power of satan

i get behind thee get this guy in line

i get behind thee remember that last guy that popped off

did he ever stop sobbing like a bitch

we took him to dennys after torturing him and even after buying him some moons over myhammy he was still whimpering like a beaten dog

get it wayne

At 8:27 AM, Blogger Satan said...

holy shit its captain carls ghost

i get behind thee

round that bastard up and cram him back into hell

At 8:39 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Dude, that bitch was totally pissed when I stiffed her on the lap dance.

That shit was way douche.

At 8:54 AM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

He said stiffed...

At 9:01 AM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

ARRRR.....Im outta here, Me be freakin the world as a free floatin full torsal vapor

At 9:20 AM, Blogger Satan said...

jesus christ are you ever a cheap bastard

daddy needs to up your allowance if you are going to run with the big dogs

remember that time that you were getting a lap dance at that juice bar and that dancer was all down on her hands and knees in front of you and you poked her in the ass with your finger

then the bouncer grabbed your ass and tossed you out into the parking lot

bill the apostle i get behind thee stan the loser apostle and i all walked out after that and you were laying there in a pool of your own vomit with you finger under your nose and shit

damn that was funny

At 9:40 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

That was bullshit. The JC was only checking her oil.

At 9:41 AM, Blogger waygon112 said...

Clyde, right turn

Satan, stop getting your bitch to do your dirty work and face me like the deposed angel you are.

Keep pissin me off and I'll start hangin with Allah!!!

At 9:53 AM, Blogger Satan said...

allah ha ha ha

have you seen that little puss around here anywhere

nope allah fears to tread in the land of infidels

jesus christ i know you are busy out there checking bill the apostles oil but have you seen allah around lately

allah cant hang

At 10:21 AM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

glad to see you in such good spirits satan... i mean why all the questions.. dont they just beleive you on your word?.. i did...

At 10:44 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Allah is a bitch.

At 10:53 AM, Blogger Satan said...

go hang with allah clyde

before i get behind thee gets behind thee and gives you a little taste of his favorite little move

lets just say it will cause you to squeal like a pig and we all know how much allah hates pork

At 11:08 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Dude, remember the time we went swimming at the cliffs and we invited allah because buddah laid that fucking guilt trip on us?

That little bitch was all like "but I don't wanna get wet" and he just sat under a tree and played in the dirt the whole time. He's fucking pathetic.

Hey you know, buddah should start a blog. I always thought that dude was cool.

At 11:18 AM, Blogger Satan said...

that fat little bastard kills me

allah is a total puss

i remember that jesus christ

and the rest of us were jumping off those rocks into the water and swinging on that rope swing way out there

stan the apostle was out on that rope about fifteen feet above the water and his trunks fell off and then he slid down the rope and got like this huge rope burn on his balls


i bet that hurt like a mutha

At 2:02 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

Santa you throw like a girl...

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Elizabeth Dole said...

I need your help finding Bob Dole.

Can I count on you?

At 4:56 PM, Blogger Lee Ann said...

What are you up to tonight...still have those horns?

At 6:51 PM, Blogger jamwall said...

dude, satan, you don't mind if i take a look around hell and measure your office and shit?

how wide is that window to the firepit in your office? that fucker looks like its about 6 feet wide. gotta make sure i get the right size drapes.

that desk has gotta go..

i like oak....yeah, oak kicks donkey ass!

dude, who was your decorator? charles manson decorates his fucking jail cell better than this, and he's got feces smeared all over his walls.

i was thinking of going for a starsky and hutch decor (or maybe paint a mural of two albino midgets getting peed on by r. kelly.

that shit's kickin!

At 12:28 AM, Blogger boo said...

satan sprechen mandarin. thats so kewl.

At 7:31 AM, Blogger Satan said...


ja und ich spreche ein wenig deutsch

was machst du heute

At 8:40 AM, Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

What a fucking poser

At 9:07 AM, Blogger kellywalters said...

ummm honey...

yeah that took quite awhile to get that question back..

in other news..

I had a dream about you last night..

I was walking around the pits of hell and this snakey thingy came up to me.. it starting talking all like "what up bettie!"
I was like
" what up snakey thingy"
it was like
"so I hear you wanna snowball satan"
I was like
"Yeah maybe.. who'd you hear that from?"
it was like
" no one. Just heard it"
I was like
"no shit. well.. you know where satan is?"
it was like
"yeah 2 blocks back left at the mini volcano, half a block turn right at the bloody virgin fountian then through the big balls of hell doors. Right down that hallway and you should come to his firey throne room."
I was like
"bitchin. thanks"

can you tell me what that was all about..

why I was wearing nothing but twinkie wrappers?

At 9:17 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Satan fans:

You'll have to excuse satan for not answering your comments more promptly, Pizza Hut doesn't enable him to be around a computer more than 2-3 times a day.

that's all...

At 9:41 AM, Blogger Satan said...

jesus christ is just pissed off because i am his manager at the pizza hut and i scheduled him for friday night

tomorrow night im hitting the clubs and he is spreading the cheese


At 9:55 AM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Well that is totally fucked up satan, it says right on my fucking application NO WEEKENDS.

You I have shit to do on the weekend.

You can take that job and fuck IGBT with it, I quite.

At 9:58 AM, Blogger kellywalters said...

ohhh satan... jc quit..

sucks to be you..

I aint working at no fucking pizza hut

At 10:02 AM, Blogger kellywalters said...

wow.. flamingo is fucking cool.

why does everyone wanna hit up shannon..

should I be interested?

At 11:09 AM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

Look slike JC will now have more time for long posts! Oh no wait; I forgot, long posts aint cool (unless they involve thieved melons).

At 12:05 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

IGBT... what are you talking about?
That post wasn't even long. It takes me like half the day just to get to your fucking comment section.

Okay, now you've aroused my interest as to who the genius behind this site is.

At 12:44 PM, Blogger kellywalters said...

Its me.. obviously.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger I Get Behind Thee said...

My true identity is......

Elizabeth Dole


At 2:53 PM, Blogger l said...

Hey Lucifer, pansy ass, I got some beef with you.

Why the hell does there have to be hangovers, STD's, the state of Alabama, or Conservatives? You're behind all four of these incarnations of evil, obviously. I could forgive you for the Conservatives, Alabama, and even STD's maybe, but hangovers? WTF were you thinking man! You take something good and pure like a nice beer buzz and you ruin it with the invention of the hangover. Nice work.

...and don't even get me started on your boy Hitler.

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Satan said...

jesus christ i banish thee from hell

roximoon i lust you

i get behind thee is the true genius behind this site

without him and his influence i would be lost

he is the wind beneath my wings

now begone doer of good and healer of the unfirm

or i shall call your daddy and have him ground you from the stripper bars

At 3:03 PM, Blogger kellywalters said...

satan babe.. dont be mean to the one true dude.. hes just tryin to do his own thing..

I think he is kind hot..

in that.. fuck me now sideways on the bed with a crowbar and some rancid ham kind of way..


At 5:45 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

He looks like he's got shit stuck on his moustache...

At 6:43 PM, Blogger Satan said...


hangovers are not mine

i encourage you to get tore up as much as possible

jesus christs dad saw everyone having fun and wanted to kill the buzz

think about it

do you know any more of a buzzkill than jesus christs dad

thou shalt not this
thou shalt not that

jesus christs dad gives you plants and fruits

i give you a way to turn them into booze so you can get the babes wasted

and then jesus christs dad figures out a way to ruin all my cool shit by making it suck with stuff like hangovers

he did the same thing with stds

seriously i want you to bone and commit adultery

its good for business

the stds just get in my way


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