Tuesday, January 17, 2006

why do women love jesus christ



because he was hung like this









this picture stolen from jesus toast jesus toast

59 Comments:

At 6:42 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

I don't get it.
Are you trying to say that I'm like this big <--------------------------->

...or that I'm hung like a girl?

 
At 6:57 PM, Blogger Satan said...

jesus christ are you ever stupid sometimes

where the fuck is bill

have him explain it to you

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Are you on something? Just curious..

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Satan said...

shannon i am on you

i wannabe on you

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

HEY! who pasted Heather Graham's face on my body? BASTARDS! what's wrong with my face and why did you crop the picture off at the waist??

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

That joke fucking sucked...remember when you were trying to get the "funniest evil fictional stand up award and you got up and was all like "whats black and white and black and white and green"? And no one says anything and you go "Two skunks fighting over a pickle"

it wasnt funny Satan, it wasnt then and it sure as fuck isnt now

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger Satan said...

ha that one still cracks my shit up

black and white and green and shit

i used to kill on open mic night

bill is just jealous cuz they wouldn't let him swallow kielbasa during open mic night and my act totally wasted his

remember that time when we were at that place in the village right after you got your nipples pierced and you stood up for your turn at at the mic and you brushed one of your nipple rings up against the mic stand and a short in the system lit you up like a flaming gay christmas tree

that shit was killer

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger jamwall said...

yo satan, how'd you know i was down with hung chicks?

 
At 8:16 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan~ As sincere as that was.. Hell would have to freeze over before that would happen.. but you understand right? I am pure.. you are evil.. and well. we just don't mix.. but I am sure there are alot of evil gals just waiting for you!! We can be friends secretly thou.. fair enough?

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

"I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me"

this is for you satan

We should all meet at Karaoke from Hell and see who gets Storm's number 1st. In the mean time we should drink and piss on bill while roasting marshmallows over his flaming body.

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger FLAMINGO1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger FLAMINGO1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger YellowSock said...

I so love you, Satan

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger ing said...

Satan:

I said I'd call you, but let's just be friends, okay? I'm flattered and all. . .

 
At 12:12 AM, Blogger Eve said...

I still think that Bill the Apostle is hot, in a Brokeback Mountain kind of way... meow.

 
At 4:10 AM, Blogger LBseahag said...

you call a B-cup hung?

whats wrong with you.

 
At 4:42 AM, Blogger Gerard said...

Funny, I said the same thing about Jesus the other day.

 
At 5:05 AM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

satan just so you dont get the wrong idea... im purely evil.. or something..

 
At 8:18 AM, Blogger boo said...

thats hot.

 
At 8:30 AM, Blogger Tumbleweed said...

I just heard you were hung...that excites me!

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Damn, I'm out of kleenex.

 
At 11:26 AM, Blogger PDD said...

Jesus Christ my boobs are better than those.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger the original marriedman said...

If Chris were still around, we'd be getting her in bed with us. Chris always wore me during sex. It was amazing.

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Hey!

That chick's left boob is bigger than her right boob!

Satan, hurry up and get over here. I've got my pants off and my husband isn't due home from work for twenty minutes!

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

heyyyyyyyyy what happened to bill the apostle and jesus christs blog???

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

Satan is a pussy with an 1/2 inch wee wee. It takes a real man like Captain Carl to brave these seas.
So this post is for all the needle dick bug fuckers of the world.

 
At 3:34 PM, Blogger Jasmine said...

interesting!

::wink::

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

cap? .. you are weird ...

 
At 3:42 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

Your all probably wondering who in the Hell the Capt'n is!
http://davy-jones-locker.blogspot.com/
Im not weird, Im the Capt'n.
I still have my picture phone if anyone wants to call me.

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Satan said...

doriangray you are the absolute shit

lets kick it to some storm any time bitch

goddamn shannon is hot

every time i look at her i just fuckin drool

captain carl will rethink his statement when i am 11 inches in his ass

headed to erins see ya

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan~ As long as you're sorta nice to me, I think I can tolerate you as a bud.. just no more hanging blondes, it gives me a complex!

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

Hey Capt'n is that water drippin' in your face or are you just back in business?

Your not fooling us for a minute, that grin looks as though your ready to recieve something of an enormous portion:-p

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

I shined a flashlight into satan's eyes and he was so afraid it was God he literally shit a giant brick shaped like his ass pal Dorian. The Capt'n is truly a ladies man not some Butt Pirate.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger Lee Ann said...

Satan...How are you hung?
I see your horns...are they sharp?

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Satan said...

shannon i will be nice

i will be very nice

i want to be your bud

you bud with benefits whoa

dorian what say you and me give the good capn a couple more droplets on his chin

did i mention that shannon was a smokin hot piece of ass yet

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger Satan said...

my talons are very sharp

lee ann those ass manglers over at jesus christs site spread the rumor that i am tiny

but then look whos driving the big truck

compensating much jesus
christ

i am as endowed as you would expect the lord of the underworld to be

you can sin without the proper tools baby

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan.. you cursed, tisk tisk.. peer pressure will do that to you!

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger Captain Carl said...

Satan's head looks like something that was 11 inches in my ass, right before it fell out and I flushed it.

Jasmine my Mermaid Angel, I think I spotted you on one of my many trips to sea.

Dorian did you and Satan have a contest to see who could have the most fucked up face. You have the great brown turd beat hands down.

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

Capt'n your about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop!!

Why don't you sail away before I knock the wind out of you and sink your little dinghy.

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger jamwall said...

i was gonna make a comment on this post, but the picture kept forcing me to enjoy some "private time"

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Baby Seal said...

christ, that jamwall approached me and said he wanted to "enjoy some private time."

to make a long story short....my ass hurts..

 
At 6:17 PM, Blogger J to the fucking C said...

Where the fuck are you?

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger Jesus Toast said...

I'm just glad I could bring naked Heather Graham to a whole new audience.

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

I think Satan has left the building... ohhhh the humanity!!!

He may be out poking someone with his pitchfork as we speak...

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

I saw Satan a few minutes ago. He was getting a blowjob from the Virgin Mary....

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Satan said...

i leave for a few minutes and everyone is like where the hell is satan and shit

i took a dump

i went to the gym

satan has to stay tight for the ladies

i ate a few kittens

participated in an awesome orgy

that reminds me of the time jesus christ bill and i were hanging at the tgifridays and these bitches were all upon me and bill and jesus christ were like what about us ladies and finally the six of us went back to my place cuz you know jesus still lives with his dad and we got all freaky and shit

we ended up crucifying bill naked just for shits and giggles and the girls all took turns on him while he was hanging there

it was awesome

shannon you are obsessed with daddy satan lets just stop playing games with each other and start knocking hooves

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

I will have to get back to you on that one Santan...

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Satan* Even.. is there spell check in hell??

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Satan said...

theres one way to find out if there is spell check in hell

come hang with me

i hope you are old enough to drink cuz i have on hell of a bar

no booze in heaven baby

 
At 10:01 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

Well.. I am old enough..Is 27 old enough??

Anyways I only do shots but maybe we should have other people around when we drink.. Something doesn't feel right.. Plus If there is no love I cannot be with you. So since I know love does not exist in hell.. we shall admire each other from afar..

I am going to try to sleep now.. please stay out of my dreams for one night.. I really need the sleep =)

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

Satan maybe you should try some "Sex Panther" people say, "that sixty percent of the time it works everytime."
BTW--> if you get the chance check out stab-my-picture:-p

 
At 12:08 AM, Blogger jungle jane said...

There's jizz in my fringe - could i possibly be the Virgin Mary?

 
At 1:17 AM, Blogger YellowSock said...

"No love in Hell" !?! Best lovin an o-ring could have!!!

 
At 7:07 AM, Blogger Satan said...

shannon are you here yet

i know you will be stopping by baby

its ok there is love in hell

deep carnal animalistic love

and im feelin it

 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger SuperAmanda said...

Satan,
Did KISS really stand for "Knights in Satan's Service?" I have always wondered.
Amanda

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

I am around... catch me if you can!! =)

 
At 2:38 PM, Blogger sugarpunk said...

DADDY SATAN!!!!

can i have a lollipop?

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger marriedman, turbo charged said...

It's hard being a testicle. You never get the recognition you deserve, but it's even worse when you see shit like that, now I'm blue.

 
At 7:30 PM, Blogger Mike said...

This is great!

 

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