Friday, January 05, 2007

friday entertainment

godsnot voodoo

i want to welcome several new souls to the realm of the underworld and in their honor i offer you a little voodoo by godsnot

bostick please make the obligatory horns with your fingers and bang your head or something like that

or whatever it is that you half assed evil wannabes do when you are stoned out of your minds at a concert

if you are nice to this ole demon maybe i will post some slayer next time or perhaps even some winger or nelson

plog bortland
crude virgin
the whizzing wizard

stop in and welcome them to hell


At 7:31 PM, Blogger /t. said...

you got
some pretty
good tunes in hell

i was worried about maybe an eternity of christina aguilera

please tell me she's not yours


At 7:35 PM, Blogger Satan said...

look i get saddam and some other really shitty character sent my way from time to time

christina is still up for grabs

britney is definitely mine

i thought they were going to get debbie gibson but after the playboy spread i think i have a shot

its that little bitch elton john that has me concerned

you know there is going to be some real major drama when that queen arrives

At 8:07 PM, Blogger /t. said...

i guess,
but then you
did get the hardest
working man in showbiz --
that's actually pretty cool, assuming of course that he really is yours and you're not just lying about it to make us want to come to hell -- no offense intended, but you being satan and all, i gotta wonder


At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can even think Satan would lie to us?

If I remember correctly it was his father who was the liar.

According to the book,(No, not Think and Grow Rich.)Satan is the sealed sum of perfection.

Why would he risk such a stellar reputation just for personal gain?

Satan a liar...

Man, that is a good one.

At 8:23 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

If that is hell, then I've been there and done that. I see those movies all the time with my offspring who will NEVER be yours. Anyway, for those who care, cruel virgin is my website and my beta blogger identity because for some reason my blog won't go beta and I've tried. But Satan, you live to mess with me. You remind me of all those old boyfriends I had to murder in their sleep--before I got saved of course. Are they the ones giving you pointers? I'm getting pissed off at you!

At 8:23 PM, Blogger Satan said...

does it say anything about me in think and grow rich

cuz that would be kind of cool dont you think

t i wouldnt lie to you

trust me

i have an honest face

At 8:26 PM, Blogger Satan said...


i live to mess with everyone

what would you do if you had eternity to keep yourself busy

would you poke fun at bostick
rib baron about having a girlfriend
hit on hot babes

i would

At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Satan, that second video is a thing of absolute beauty! Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

At 8:35 PM, Blogger Satan said...

yes i am deep into death metal disney

that shit is pure evil

it hasnt been cut with any cheap baking soda

it is pure evil

At 8:47 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

So it's true. Evil is banal. Satan is both bored and boring.

At 8:57 PM, Blogger Satan said...

banal with a silent b

you nailed me enemy
i am bored and boring

but here you are coming to me for entertainment and enlightenment

i am a giver
call it a character flaw

At 8:57 PM, Blogger blog Portland said...

I suppose there are worse fates for my soul, like Mormon heaven. At least you've got good music and live porn.

At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link Satan, hell is where the heart is.

At 10:05 PM, Blogger Satan said...

amen brother flc

At 10:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Knock, knock. Anybody home?

At 10:45 PM, Blogger Satan said...

the lord of the underworld is in

At 11:58 PM, Blogger PDD said...

demons always have big dicks.

At 11:59 PM, Blogger PDD said...

I'm in.

At 11:59 PM, Blogger PDD said...

No, wait, they're in me.

At 8:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Satan,what is the difference between tom bailey and an asshole?


The asshole only holds about half as much shit.

At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, yes! But I'm beginning to worry... does anybody really believe that all those born-again folks will go to heaven? What if they land down with us?

By the way, I've been looking for that coyote who popped out of a stomach in your video offering. Please send him home.

At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

See, wizened wizard,I told you Satan's house rocks!

At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Satan! I am back to do your dark bidding! Email me as I need graphics so I can do your t-shirt designs and such...

At 4:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most of your minions don't know how well you sing, oh dark one, but I have a treasured recording.

Man, I just can't help admiring your work.

At 4:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whew, I had a bad scare today.

I had to go to the hospital with an erection that lasted over four hours.

The doctors said not to worry though; it was only a tom bailey and he'd already been a stff dick for a long time.

Not as funny as you, but I am trying very hard to improve my jokes so tom will visit my blg and nominate me for a bloggie.

At 8:05 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Satan -
I see you been messing with My Angel again - I ask - what is it about her that just gets to you?

Is it because she keeps turning you down?

Is it because I keep turning you down or what - sorry man - I am just not that way.

I got your last confession - sorry cannot help you with the zits on your horns.

At 9:39 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Ha Ha...good one, Baron. Has he really been coming on to you too? Lord! Control yourself, Satan!

At 9:34 AM, Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

welcome to hell my friends.

it's not so bad once you get the hang of the smell.

At 5:18 AM, Blogger KSHIPPYCHIC said...

Ok, hell sounds good.... really good... please please keep Nelson out.. for the love of satan.

At 11:28 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

Satan, you are bringing in tons of souls. Winger or Nelson...LOL.
Do you really want them?

Dirk, your humor seems to predate the new testament of bible. Perhaps if you learned to chisle your jokes they might work better.

"Satan is the sealed sum of perfection."

This really depends on which theology you believe. What I would suggest is understanding Genesis before you try interpeting the 7 seals in Revelation.

At 1:13 PM, Blogger scumbag said...


At 2:40 PM, Blogger Satan said...


all you say is true
you are a very good minion

whizzing wizard

this is hell after all

there is a very good chance those born again morons are going to end up here

as you know many of them only pretend to be born again


i have opted to post my e-mail address for all to see

it is on my profile page


i started taking viagra and cialis every night before bedtime

i have cured my rolling out of bed problem

everyone please take note that baron and enemy show up here and moon all over each other like schoolchildren

it is cute and disgusting at the same time



like i mentioned above
it is hell after all

nelson will come in quite useful in hell

i will make george w bush listen to them constantly after he arrives

i dont know about the rest of you but i am sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear his new plan for iraq

too bad stupidity isnt a sin or he would already be mine

i lust you all

At 4:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

More winger and double up on the nelson.

At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom, maybe you should try reading the bible. No, not think and Grow Rich...

Any bible refers to Satan as the sealed sum of perfection...

I noticed you did not challenge the doctor's diagnosis of you being a stiff dick...

At 7:23 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

Dirk, I am clear on what the bible says. Did you read my statement? See the number 7 and the book of revelation? I know what it says about satan but you have to read about the 7 seals and how they inter-relate to the seal of satan.

Like you said before you are not here for a theology lesson that is why I said you should read the entire bible before trying to understand seals.

"What I would suggest is understanding Genesis before you try interpeting the 7 seals in Revelation."

I was not happy about the game last night either. I have many unhappy people in Ohio that I have to deal with today. On the bright side for you they had a great year. Who was the last top pick coming out of Ohio? Rikie Dudley?

Seriously all I was suggesting is reading revelation so that you get a better understanding of how seals etc. are defined in theology. You need to also understand context. Just like you tried to say that "fuck salvation" was appropriate based on context. I am saying that you need to read Revelation to understand "seals" in context.

But I still do stand by my statement that "fuck salvation" is not appropriate in any context even with humor. But we shall see maybe Satan himself could craft something?

At 4:58 PM, Blogger ~d said...


At 5:42 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Ms. Enemy -
He has and to tell ya the truth I think we should hook him up with someone. Any ideas?

At 10:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, Tom...

The devil was created as the "sealed sum of perfection."

Satan could not procreate. He was created as the only one of his kind.

He could not procreate...

Old Testament-Go and research Satan's story...

I know about the book of Revelations and the seven seals. Duh...

Sorry about the procreation thing, Satan.

I'd be a little angry too if all I ever shot was blanks...

You were pretty glorius in your prime though, just sterile...

At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more thing...

Fuck salvation and tom bailey!

At 7:13 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

Your theological understanding of seals is flawed I thought you would see that if you studied the seals in Revelation. I should have known that a person that resorts to vulgarity is not sharp enough to understand seals either.

Read the entire bible over again slower this time so you understand seals and what they mean. I know what the verse says but understanding what it means is different. Perhaps you should pray for more wisdom like Solomon that would really help you.

Even though you direct vulgarity towards me I still would like you to live an abundant and prosperous life just like I pray for the same for the internet Satan. That is what makes me different than you or Satan.

What you know is not what hurts you Dirk. It is what you do not know that you do not know that is. And this is likely a blind spot for you in that area.

But I still wish you the best.

At 7:54 AM, Blogger Everything Nice said...

I think I love you. Let's fuck.

Hey, thanks for meeting me for pancakes... Next time I get to sit on YOUR lap.

At 11:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, thanks tom bailey...

And all this time I thought the Bible was talking about Easter seals.

Which everyone knows are fake because it is actually Easter Bunnies, not Easter seals.

Many thanks for your infinite wisdom on every imaginable subject though.

Where would those of us who are not a member of your secret club be without your "Stink and Throw Fits" wisdom.

Thanks for the guidance...

You are a positive inspiration for us all.

Any luck on getting a job where you don't serve fries yet?

Good luck with that...

At 12:22 PM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

Dirk, fortunately I have been greatly blessed in business.

If I wanted to win a name that tune from the 60's or 70's, buy a big red, white and blue hat, or win a vulgarity contest you would have me beat.

I see that you are giving me a hard time on your blog now too. You just delete mine and I leave yours up on mine. I guess you would win a double standards contest too.

At 4:18 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...


My girlfriends have gone out with their share of Satans. I am afraid I cannot help you there.


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