Tuesday, December 05, 2006

not shitty and lame

hey minions and motherfuckers

jesus christ and his peeps raise all kinds of dough every year by passing around the collection plate

half of those bastards are bending young kids over and having their way with them

and you give them money

i also saw on tv some shit about the greatest gospel hits of all time



you people buy this shit

this one is called christian rock hits

isnt that an oxymoron



yet you buy this crap and feed money into the christian machine

i saw this one on tv just the other night



you people are sending in money to some ass clown that is selling you prayer towels

what the fuck do you do with these

wave them over your heads while watching the christian steelers play the christian packers in christian football

i dont get it

but you stupid bastards are buying it and those other stupid bastards on television selling it are making millions and millions of dollars

well i am not shitty and lame

i am not stupid

the budget has been a little tight in hell over the last couple of years due in large part to increased costs of fuel

so i am setting in motion my own exciting marketing program

just in time for christmas i give you this




buy some for stocking stuffers

get one for everyone on your shopping list

and know that the proceeds are going for the purpose of furthering my work

hopefully we will someday be able to build satans crystal palace

but until then help us keep the lights on by buying a couple of gross of these bad boys

remember hell and remember our motto

we are not shitty and lame

19 Comments:

At 9:34 PM, Blogger /t. said...

dude,

is that like
a pez dispenser?

if so, stop it, you're tempting me

/t.

 
At 11:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Send me a gross now!

And, I use the towel to polish my tool...

Want to see some real flower power?

 
At 2:20 AM, Blogger KSHIPPYCHIC said...

Pez is cool. I just got some pez of the OCC boys - Paul Sr. is hot. Ok.

 
At 4:30 AM, Blogger Mone said...

Satan is hot!
Lets help him keep hell hot!
Lets spred the word.
No more freezing shit all over the world!
Satan, you are my hero!

 
At 4:39 AM, Blogger DykesDog said...

I would like to order a case of towels. I need them to clean up my dogshit in the yard!

BTW, here's a offering for you. Since I know you can't steal.

http://www.youaredamned.com

 
At 6:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want one and I want it now!

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Satan,
When are you going to drop by again?
We were squirting some skank last night and talking about you.
Bring Wayne Newton again, you two were doing some fucked up shit last time.

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger /t. said...

yeah,

it's tempting,
but i'm holding back
until you come out with a bobblehead

also, being as you're a market savvy kind of demon, have you considered nativity scene figures? what with christmas coming up -- just a thought

/t.

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Does it come in other colors besides that shit brown? Because I rilly rilly like pink.

Thanks.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

What about Judas Priest? Slayer? Plenty of your music going around and I do think a lot of Christian music is lame. As usual, you overgeneralize us humans.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Satan said...

lets use our heads people

have you been reading the seven deadly sins

as you may recall one of those seven deadly sins is greed

thus while slayer and judas priest may be followers of mine they also follow the doctrine of greed

so i dont see a friggen nickel of that money

if i am going to keep this place fully ablaze i am going to have to come up with some serious cash and soon

 
At 2:46 PM, Blogger Satan said...

no pink

i will see what i can do about the bobble head and see if i can get some products in pink

i need to keep the customers happy

 
At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought the packers were your favorite team?
And quit using my catch phrase Asshat.

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger Satan said...

and stop using my catchphrase

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Bostick is the originator. Read his blog. Shitty and Lame belongs to him. He needs to copyright it and sue you, dude. You know that Bostick has been great for giving you ideas.

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger Satan said...

i read bosticks bullshit

i know where it comes from

he has called me shitty and lame so many times that i have lost count

so i am making the point that i am not shitty and lame

i am cool and a badass lord of the underworld

suck it

you are both mine and will do my bidding or you shall suffer the eternal pain of the deepest pit of hell minion

 
At 5:16 AM, Blogger honkeie2 said...

And the TV evangelist are using the money they con out of these mindless sheep for male hookers....go figure

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Of all the shit to put your likeness on you feel that a PEZ is the way to go.

No wonder Ms. Enemy is my girlfriend and not yours - I mean hell man a PEZ dispenser?


I mean you need a marketing department - no wonder you are losing the soul contest ...

 
At 11:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Have Become My New GOD!!!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home