Sunday, December 10, 2006

envy




you envious bastards

you all want what i have

you want to be me

you covet

i dont blame you because as everyone can see i am amazing

but according to galatians five 21 from the king james version

envyings murders drunkenness revellings and such like
of the which I tell you before as I have also told you in time past
that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of god

has anyone actually seen the kingdom of god to know if it is even worth inheriting

you cant drink
you cant smoke
you cant have sex
you cant lust after things to have sex with
no good drugs

pretty much no fun at all

so let us revisit what we have learned

i am cool and you envy me
you are supposed to envy the kingdom of god
but the kingdom of god looks like it might suck

so jump on the satan bandwagon brothers and sisters and envy some shit that is cool


oh i will admit that i have plenty of envy in me and i even envy jesus and god once in a while

when i am nailing some chick like enemy of the public and she is really getting into it and then starts screamin

oh god or oh jesus that feels good

i get envious

after all i am doing all the work over here and those guys are getting the credit

and just once i would like someone to thank me after they make a touchdown


its always
i want to thank the one that made this touchdown possible
our lord jesus christ

who wouldnt get a little jazzed to hear that

honestly it would make my day to hear this one day

i want to thank the one that made this touchdown possible
satan the lord of the underworld
all powerful god of darkness
and ruler of all that is evil

now dont you think that would be cool to see on sportscenter


t o are you listening brotha

give me some props

give ole satan a shout out next time you are in the end zone

im not going to lie

envy is kind of cool and it is really cool to be envied

keep up the good work minions



by the way get your own

devil be gone satan bop bag



knock the crap out of satan for only $49.99

notice how satan always springs back

thanks for the idea benny hinn and hatinstupid

28 Comments:

At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhhh Satan... You are more than worthy of taking my ideas :) So you are welcome... Quit thankin' Benny Hinn he is just usin' you ya know... Well nevermind, that's exactly why you like him.. What a wanker... Soul Soliciting Rat Bastard...

 
At 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yeah.. I want a discount on the punching bag. I am quite the worthy minion don't ya think? Cuz I do and that's really all that matters...

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Satan,

When I get home from work at the flower shop I am going to make sweet gay love to you.

This bear is pitching tonight big boy. Grrrr

xoxo

 
At 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay if you buy one of those punching bags and actually hit it, are you keeping track? Are you going to take it out on me when I get there??? I would like to know these things in advance you know.

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger Satan said...

ihatethestupid

as soon as these get into production i will get you one at cost plus shipping and handling

shipping and handling is where we make all the profit anyway

it aint cheap to ship and handle from hell

gay lover

can we invite bostick over to join us

beautifulmind

yes

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Considering how shitty my football team is doing lately if they did start thanking you could you get them to the Superbowl?

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Mone said...

praise satan for the good thinks we know on earth ;)

 
At 11:33 PM, Blogger Mone said...

I'll praise you. will you send me a man ready for SEX?

 
At 6:29 AM, Blogger Satan said...

whimsical

if your team is the carolina panthers it is going to take some work

it appears that someone else has already jumped in on the side of the saints

had i had an earlier start in the season i may have been able to help

lets talk about next year

mone

i am sending a hot sex ready man to you

now remember when in the throes of passion shout out

oh dear satan
holy lord of the underworld
that feels so good
or dear devil

 
At 7:00 AM, Blogger Everything Nice said...

oh.. yes....


oh shit yes....

yes... yes.... yes... oh shit....

uh huh, uhhuh... right there... fuck....

oh ...dear satan....
holy...fucking.... lord of the underworld
uhhhh ..... that feels so good

 
At 8:00 AM, Blogger Satan said...

everything naughty

that is beautiful

i lust you

 
At 8:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When we say, "oh god" we ARE praising you - You're are the god of goodtimes.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

I'm fairly certain YOU! had something to do with 3 straight wins by the AZ Cardinals, bastardfucks can't win a game until I start betting against them. Asshats. Quit helping them out will you?

*sigh*

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since we are talking about you helping sports teams, I could really use your help with the Chiefs. Come on.. What do ya say? Can you really deny a team who so enthusiastically wears your favorite colors? Flames of Hell Red mixed with a little yellow???

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Oh come on Satan! Their mascot is a black cat! I thought that meant that they were in league with you anyway.

And yes, they do need help. A whole lot of help. Way, way, too much fucking help. Ok, how about you just kill Dan Henning? That could work.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

I didnt think that satan could quote scripture? You have a well thought out blog here. Great idea.... if you are into negativity. I am going back to my blog to think of something positive to post to rid myself of the negative cancer that entered my brain by reading this.

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

I find it funny - how even you the ruler of hell - lust after what you cannot have.

Ms. Enemy would never step into your bed - she has way way to much class and besides there is no way that you could handle a woman like her. She has more fire and passion in her little finger then you have in the pits of hell.

You have to come up with some better marketing and lusting objects - you are starting to look like a sorry lame loser - all your souls are going to become bored with you.

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Funny how you title this blog - ENVY- it is clear you are pissed that Ms. Enemy does not want anything to do with you.

Oh btw - one look into her Angel Eyes would send you to Heaven - now I know that you cannot handle that!

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger DykesDog said...

Well, at least I see one head will bob.

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger Satan said...

jali

we cool then

scottsdale girl

the cardinals with three wins is not only my work

it is one of the signs of the apocolypse

hatin and whimsical

look when you get tony gonzalez or steve smith to give me some props in the end zone i will see what i can do for you

hurry though the season is running out quickly

tom bailey

here is something positive for you

i am positive that you should go fuck yourself

i went to your site

tony robbins called and he wants his blog back

baron ectar

it might be time to change the pad

i think your mestrual cycle just hit full drip

dykesdog

nice head bob crack

you are truly a warrior of satan with a sharp wit and a sharp tongue

by the way

has anyone seen my gay lover lately

i think bostic may have a secret identity

 
At 1:02 AM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Good god. I'm tired. Can we just get a motel room for a while and eff our brains out? It's too hot at your place.

Bring beer.

 
At 5:13 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

tom bailey
"here is something positive for you
i am positive that you should go fuck yourself
i went to your site
tony robbins called and he wants his blog back"

Satan, I will not resort to vulgarity. Anthony Robbins is the satan of motivation. His principals were largely stolen and they are a cheap knock off of Think and Grow Rich. He read think and grow rich supposedly 15 times. Comparing him to Think and Grow Rich is like comparing Dan Gable to the WWF. It is like comparing Girls field hockey to the NHL.

He has no real professional training he is just a self annointed guru. A very cheap knock off of Think and Grow Rich. He is the equivalent of the WNBA... you would hardly compare them to the NBA right?

Shall I continue to challenge you here? Or would you prefer the challenge to continue on my blog?

I dont expect you to fight fair. You are satan of course.

Satan, your pictures are extremely creative and funny, but I dont think your words are any match for mine. I do like your blog and do find it amusing that you have the bible listed and non-profit listed as well. So it does make me think this satan bit is an alter ego thing for you.

The product pics you have here are indeed hillarious if that is all someone is looking for. I look to give something at a higher level to people than just a joke. But as far as jokes go you do have a top notch site for that.

 
At 5:37 AM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Satan, I see your fantasy life is rich as you have delusional ideas about me and you. Maybe Jesus needs to send you a straitjacket and some Thorazine.

 
At 6:18 AM, Blogger Satan said...

dammit tom bailey

you are good enough

smart enough

and dog gone it people like you

give yourself a stewart smalley daily affirmation and pull the stick out of your ass

obrien

i will be there at three this afternoon

wear the boots

enemy

you are going to have to wait for some other time

obrien is in the chute next

 
At 7:35 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

"give yourself a stewart smalley daily affirmation and pull the stick out of your ass"

You can do far better than that. The pics you have on this blog had me cracking up laughing. I just hope they were not just cheap rip off ideas but that they were your own.

I think you need to revisit your music and add Venom and Slayer. Maybe you could do an interview with them for your blog. Slayer did do an album called Hell Awaits and Venom was openly satanic.

Maybe some salmon rushkie the author of satanic verses?

You have an excellent site I am just trying to give you ideas for material so you dont fade away. I dont want to have a monopoly. I need a critic like you to survive.

Daily affirmations? They dont do much for a person. They help build core principals but they dont create action.

Your Devil went down to Georgia challenge was very creative that you did on my blog. I liked it. Had me laughing. Country music is for two types steers and queers. And I dont see any horns coming out.... wait that doesnt work... you do have horns...

Excellent blog your creativity is excellent.

 
At 8:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a minion checkin' in on the big guy in the house down under.. Seems as though you are having a good time with Tom Bailey. All the Stuart Smalley references are makin' me giddy inside.. Time to go and do some personal reflection!
DAMN!!! And I thought I could get through a day without it... Gee Thanks.. I think.. btw..I still hate the stupid :) ahhhhhhhh!!!

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Satan said...

a quote from tom bailey that made me laugh

satan your pictures are extremely creative and funny but I dont think your words are any match for mine

i do like your blog and do find it amusing that you have the bible listed and non profit listed as well

so it does make me think this satan bit is an alter ego thing for you



tom

i want to assure you that this is not an alter ego thing for me

i am satan

trust me

chalice

you are a shapeshifter and must be commended on your deceit and wit

the hatin blog is excellent and your creativity is excellent

your hating is extemely creative and funny but your words are certainly no match for mine

you have a great blog

if you are into negativity

holy shit for a moment there i was channeling tom bailey

i guess the powers of positive thinking are much more powerful than the powers of darkness

 
At 3:27 PM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

"tom

i want to assure you that this is not an alter ego thing for me

i am satan"

I am not convinced... I think you just have a thing for goth women or something or maybe porn stars or even heather lochlear (tommy lee is maybe a little satanic)..... well come to think of it mr. satan you might be able to rise to the levels of hugh hefner with satan status.

Some very hot women do like bad boys and who is bader than satan?

Either that or you are a manifestation of the old testament. In the old testament it speaks of amaglamation which is by some accounts thought to be the reasoning behind god flooding the world (the noah story) and that word is thought to mean from some theologists the interbreeding of man with animal.

Come on do you really want to be that real? Why not just stick to the Heather Lochlear types and call it a day and leave the animals alone.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home