Monday, December 18, 2006

new products offered from satans workshop

the first six hundred sixty six purchasers get free shipping on the following monthly special




the baron rectal thermometer - $15.76

you may be asking how you can tell the difference between a baron oral thermometer and a baron rectal thermometer

the taste




the baron toilet plunger - $17.43

the good news is that it clears up a plugged up toilet

the bad news is that is spreads more shit than you had to begin with

42 Comments:

At 5:41 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Now that is rude. Why do you insult him so?

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger Lisa W. said...

Well the baron thermometer would be no good - he's pretty hot so he probably gets the mercury rising just from being near it.

(but not as hot as you Satan, of course)

 
At 6:23 PM, Blogger Satan said...

enemy
i am sorry

it was wrong of me to be so mean

bad satan bad


lisa
you are quite the little hottie yourself

you have my mercury rising as well as other things

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Satan - Satan

I know how hurt you are that I keep turning you down.

For the 100th time today - I am not Gay- you must move on and find love with your own kind.

I blocked you from my email for real this time - and there is not any amount of begging you can do to be allowed back in.

I am sorry that you are so hurt. But this is how the earthly life is.

Satan - there is a man out there for you - just learn to get by on your wits - now I know that may be hard for you to do - but I believe in you.

Ms. Enemy - he is just hurt that he cannot have either one of us – have mercy on him.

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger Satan said...

enemy and baron

the rest of blog world wishes you would just fuck and get it over with

a stubborn angel and a cowboy

that sounds like a really shitty sitcom

 
At 9:10 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I need a new thermometer but I prefer digital, it's much more accurate.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger Satan said...

perhaps

but accuracy isnt really the purpose behind the baron rectal thermometer

ooops i said behind and rectal in the same sentence

hey enemy
i noticed you didnt get all bent out of shape when i rolled out the bostick

i think some little angel is a little protective of her little baron cowboy

fuck already

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Baron and Enemy - you know that I am the ONLY one for Satan, so stop berating my boy mmkay? Jealousy is so ugly.. and pointless, however it WILL get you into hell...

p.s. (Satan)I finally linked you at my blog, sorry for taking so long to do so. The birth of Jesus is so damned time-consuming!

Respectfully
Your-minion-in-training

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger ~d said...

Hiya Satan, darling!!

So send smut to the EMAIL account...
(Christ!, Will do, sir!)

 
At 6:24 AM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:29 AM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Scottsdale Girl -

Please - do get health care checks monthly if you are hanging around him - seriously - its not a healthy thing to do. He may say that them are horns all over his body because he is horny for you - but they are warts ...

Satan - BTW - Ms. Enemy is more woman than you could ever handle - and so much more than a roll in the hay. You have no idea - and it haunts you - I sort of feel sorry for you ...

 
At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on being a recipient of a 2006 Eddie Award.

You are the "Blog of the Year!"

Hail Satan.

 
At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey congrats on your award...I see what Dirk means....funny funny blog.......Thank you

merry berries

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger DykesDog said...

ROFLMAO. I would buy these but I have the original at home!

 
At 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just don't think I could buy the thermometer because the smile on the face would make me think he would just enjoy being crammed in an ass way too much... However, if its not true, I apologize to Baron but only because I am feeling nice at the moment... No worries the niceness will pass shortly.. It always does..

Now the plunger is a terrific idea :) But I would imagine it could be hard to get the poo outta that hair...

 
At 6:46 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Satan, you are crass and vulgar. I realize this is flattery. I was not happy with your insults to Bostick either. In fact, the more you insult those who bother with your sad page will soon find a substitute.

Just because Baron and I are buddies doesn't mean that you have to get all nasty and low. You're just pissed off because neither of us will FUCK YOU!!!

 
At 7:01 AM, Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

The baron rectal thermometer...priceless!

I bought one at a yard sale...only used once!

 
At 10:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merry Satanmas!

I'll see you after the holiday.

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger Satan said...

woot

blog of the year motha fuckahs

eat it bitches

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger /t. said...

satan,

fyi, product research:

  some ideas here

/t.

 
At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some people call him 'Bacon Egger'

 
At 5:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good one, /t. But for all I know, Satan has a product just for me. Rather not know.

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger PDD said...

Shit, I have missed out on alot of your posts satan. I laughed at the xmas letter blocks that spell out SATAN as opposed to SANTA.

Good work my friend.

I shall be back soon.

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't see your Eddie posted yet...

Did you read the small print?

I'd hate to have to recind the award and give it to the Bostick...

The award code is on my site.

Merry Satanmas!

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger Satan said...

i have collected my eddie and i want to take this opportunity to thank all of the minions that made all of this possible

i want to thank enemy and baron for allowing me to live vicariously through their innocent sexual exploration

and thanks to obrien for her assistance on so many levels of lust and pornographic literature

and a special thanks to tilde for sending me porn

thanks to mr bailey for making me a more positive demon of darkness and lord of the underworld

and a great big thank you goes out to scottsdale girl for being a consistent supporter of hell

now they are starting to play that fucking wrap it up music so i need to hurry

thanks to all of you for making this eddie possible and dont forget to take a look at the new products coming out in the hell catalog

support hell and get some really great items at the same time

 
At 8:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah all you other lame minions!

Who else pays tribute to Satan like Eddie?

That is why the rest of you are sitting on the Bostick and I am sitting on Satan's lap!

Ha!

 
At 12:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Satan must not come to my home again. Evil is not welome there. What will the neighbors think? What will become of my sterling reputation?

I'll meet you in Hell's Kitchen next time.

 
At 7:23 AM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Satan -
I wish the joy of the season upon you. Here ya go have some birthday cake!

Merry Christmas man - you make me laugh.

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Merry Christmas, Satan.

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

You put the "x" in X-mas.

 
At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Yea, Satan! He's our man!

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger blog Portland said...

I don't get it -- I left out a plate of pork rinds and a glass of goat's blood on Christmas Eve. Why didn't I get a visit from Satan Claus?

 
At 7:00 AM, Blogger Everything Nice said...

wtf? ok so something for you ass... and something for, well... shit.

i think you need a little soft-core one on one satan....

 
At 7:03 AM, Blogger Everything Nice said...

you're so hot you make me typo... and i didnt see a thank you for me up there when you accepted your Eddie.

I now take away your anal permission rights....

and give them to Bostick.

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Please send along 25 of the rectal thermometers.

Thank you.

Erin O'Brien

 
At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell??

 
At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Satan, pull the plunger out of your ass and make me laugh!

I knew the Eddie would go to your head...

Idle bloggers are the devil's workshop.

Get busy sulfer fart!

 
At 7:39 AM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Thank you Dirk. I want my New Years Post NOW!!!!

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger DykesDog said...

Satan,
Did you die or something. Why aren't you posting ...

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger Satan said...

this is a very busy time of year for satan

combatting the holiday spirit is a full time job

 
At 10:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with that. And happy new year to you.

 
At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Satan, why have you forsaken us?

 

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