Tuesday, December 12, 2006

positive message for tom bailey

my eyes are open

i have been a negative nancy

this blog has been too full of negativity and lacks the power of positive thinking

so i have decided to turn over a new leaf make a fresh new start and realize the positive energy that flows through us all

please welcome satan claus

ho ho ho

i am here to give you all gifts

first go HERE and find out whether you have been naughty or nice

now we are having high energy positive fun

if you have been nice you may come back here and tell satan claus what you want

if you have been naughty feel free to contact me by email for personal attention to let me know what you really really want

and i do mean personal attention

obrien skip the test and email me and include a picture of you wearing the boots

enemy i will keep your correspondence on the down low so that your "BOYFRIEND" doesnt get suspicious


At 7:29 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

I did pretty well on the test not perfect, but hell with friends like you who needs to be perfect? Thanks and God Bless.

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Satan said...

thats right josh

no need to be perfect

in fact i prefer flaws

big character flaws

At 7:53 PM, Blogger DykesDog said...

You know Satan, Baby Jesus never brought me anything that I wanted for Christmas, so I may just give you a try this year!

I have been a bad girl all year. Does this count for anything?!

At 7:55 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I was nice! WTF!?!

At 8:01 PM, Blogger Satan said...


it certainly does count for something and it is one hell of a lot easier than trying to be good all year

did you want to ask satan claus for something or did you already email me


in an effort to employ my newly found powers of positivity i want to say to you

jeepers that is peachy keen

but deep down i am just as disappointed as you are

i think you still have potential for evil though

keep up the work and feel free to email satan what you really really want

as if i dont already know

At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mine said I was going straight to hell!

Can I have an iflatable sheep and a bostick plug for Christmas?

And a Barbie Doll to pork the sheep with?

And a nightie and some makeup for the sheep...

And the number for a good phone sex operator.

And that should about hold me until Christmas...

At 12:31 AM, Blogger Mone said...

Private attention needed!!
Your place or my place?

At 6:17 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

The satan blocks, very creative. Santa, as nice as he seems to be is one of the partners of the anti-christ .

If you read the bible it talks about how they come to you as wolves in sheeps clothing. The clothes that santa wears are very similar to sheeps wool. Santa sets people up for disappointment early in their lives when they find out that gifts are from mom and dad and that mom and dad lie to kids about where the gifts come from. Some parents even address gifts from Santa. This is contraversial but I dont condone lying to people not even your own children because then children get the idea that lying is ok. I know very different opinions.

Satan, I thought about this for you as well I have met some people that are against God and Pro Satan because at some time they prayed for something that they did not get and they blame God. Around the holiday season people often get very depressed losing loved ones that they prayed for that still died. Going against God seems like a good idea given the anger they have towards him. I could give a 5 page post on that but I will save it for my own blog.

You are very creative in this thread. If you could find a way to use your creativity in a more productive way you could do great positives in the world. If you read in Mathew the parabale of the talents you can see some of what is possible.

Entertaining entry as always.

At 6:45 AM, Blogger Everything Nice said...

Who is Tom Bailey and why is he constantly kissing your ass?

can I just say, I did not take the test.... but I can tell you that, well, I wasnt so good this year.

So wassay you and I and a bottle of Everclear and we'll go over everybody's lists?

You excite me like no other.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

everything nice, did my amaglamation (my old testament refrence to sex with animals) entry in my last post here inspire your photos on your blog? (wedding party blog) If so you are very talented to get that put together so fast.

Your dimebag entry caught my eye too. I would rather have seen him in a group like POD.

At 7:26 AM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Here's mine:Nice, with a few exceptions. Needs to be nice to everyone not just friends. Could try a little harder when things are tough. Good sense of humor. Made list last year. Needs to be good all December.

So you think Baron is my boyfriend? Well, he's a boy and he is my friend. I keep forgetting who I'm dealing with here.

At 7:51 AM, Blogger Lisa W. said...

Why do the Santas look like they're bent over? Are they waiting for something? ;)

Thanks for the positive message. I made the somewhat nice list from that link.

Suprise suprise.

At 8:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's what the nice meter said about
Osama bin Laden:
Much more nice than naughty. Can be very thoughtful. Has improved cleanliness, which I like. Could take better care of toys. Says "thank you" often, but still not as much as I would like. Good mood often spreads to others. Hopefully, will keep up the good work!

Satan Claus? What pulls your sleigh? Fire Breathing Reindeer?

At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Satan is a woman

At 10:26 AM, Blogger garrett said...

I've been "super nice."

At 11:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my answer was the same as enemy's... that's bullshit! i was WAY worse than her....

At 1:59 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Satan –

You are just pissed because Ms. Enemy is capable of loving Jesus and sinners like me – unlike ones like you!

At 2:33 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

You are a sad little being. Here you are the devil down in Hell - all of your devil friends know that your parents called you by the nickname "Dirt" - and they call you "Dirt Devil" behind your back because they know that you suck.

I guess if it makes you feel better to pick on myself and Ms. Enemy - we should just consider it a charity to put up with you.

At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well this thing says I have been extremely good all year long. Hmmmm.. And to think I even tried to be really really bad on occasion! WTF??? What the hell do you have to do to get put on the fucking naughty list??

I don't care what I get as long as its something good. It better be good or I will just have to get a lil' pissy and no one wants that do we???

So whatcha gonna get me Satan??? Come on let's hear it!

At 2:41 PM, Blogger KSHIPPYCHIC said...

I was horrible all year...I have proof. Please send some Ten High, and a shot glass.

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Baron--he's jealous. He's so used to having people ask him for their wants that he doesn't understand that some of us don't need to ask him for anything. But he is a hoot.

At 3:15 PM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Nice, with a few exceptions. Needs to be nice to everyone not just friends. Could try a little harder when things are tough. Good sense of humor. Made list last year. Needs to be good all December.

I've already fucked up December..thanks for telling me about this 13 days to late!! *pout*

At 3:26 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Ms. Enemy -
You are right my Angel - he is funny as hell - a relief in the day at times!

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Baron Ectar said...

Overall, niceness outweighs naughtiness. Was good a lot last month! Politeness often good, but has room for improvement. Could help around house more instead of watching so much TV. Expected to move even higher up "nice" list.

I think I should stick with Santa!

At 8:36 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

"jeepers that is peachy keen"


Whips and leather outfits will do nicely thanks. Black of course.

At 1:02 AM, Blogger Crashtest Comic said...

You put the "X" is X-mas.

At 7:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i thot
tom bailey
was spam...

i still do

(oh, no offense mr. bailey)


At 8:22 AM, Blogger Satan said...


just because someone wants you to get rich through the power of positive thinking

or they want you to have a bigger penis

or they want you to make thousands of dollars working from home

or they are offering prescription drugs over the internet including viagra

does not automatically mean they are spam

tom is just a very positive guy who wants everyone to be positive and happy and rich

why would you think he is trying to sell us some nonsense for his own personal gain

why would you automatically think he is a snake oil salesman

t you really need to become a more positive person

i think tom can help you

he can probably also help you with that little tiny penis you have

At 8:35 AM, Blogger Satan said...


if i am not human can i really be either man or woman

i will leave you to ponder that while you diddle yourself with your own bostick

baron and enemy

for the love of all things unholy why dont you two just get together and knock boots already

the rest of us have grown weary of how you moon over each other all the time

hurry up and get into a relationship so that you can get sick and tired of each other


thanks man

that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

At 10:53 AM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

No offense taken, t.

If you view my blog I have no products or services for sale.

T, Your site seems to have some html issues or something. I did see that you are trying to hawk your books and or cds.

The funny thing is that Satan could probably sell stuff on this blog. The novelty stuff even though they are jokes in nature could probably sell.

I think there are far more satan product buyers than there would be for your products. Again I have nothing to sell. I could see kids buying I LOVE SATAN stickers and plastering them on the bumpers of their teachers cars and things like that. Your stuff I couldnt see it.
But again I could be wrong.

At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey tom,

get fucked, eh


At 12:56 PM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

/t, (sorry for misspelling your name) I was just trying to help. There are html errors on your blog, I just wanted to point that out to you.

I am deeply sorry if that offended you. You are probably upset because I spelled your name wrong too. Other than spam I have never seen / used as part of a name. My error.

No offense was intended.

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Satan said...

someone get tom a shot of jack

he needs to loosen up that tie and kick back a bit

tom does your ass whistle when you pass wind

cus you are the most uptight mother i have met since garrett

At 2:08 PM, Blogger Tom Bailey said...

satan, you have to admit that I LOVE SATAN stickers would be a good idea. People would use them as pranks to put on mormons bicycles when they are not looking. But the mormons are different... they think that satan was the brother of chirst or something odd like that.

Satan, you go against all I stand for. But I must say that you are a worthy opponent. Do you remember when you tempted christ with turning stones into bread after he had been fasting for 40 days? That is a powerful move.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

When will you start the Dear Satan advice column? Mooning indeed.

At 4:02 PM, Blogger Satan said...

i used to do an ask satan column

i am not omnipotent and omnipresent

that is the other guy

i did offer up some damn good answers to every day questions minions had about satan however

so for you my sweet enemy

i will do just that

this weekend we will have ask satan saturday

At 4:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you serious? WE actually get to ask Satan questions and get answers? I am so excited Im about to pee my pants!

At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I skip a couple of days and I don't get my gift.

"Satan baby, I rally haven't been a nice girl, Satan Baby." (it's hard to do a song parody when you don't know the words).



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