Thursday, March 16, 2006

clearing out some underbrush

thought we should talk about music a little bit more

music is where i make most of my hay to tell you the truth

between the musicians desperate for fame and temporary fortune and the groupies begging for a chance to get looked in the eye by some sweaty wannabe rock star it is prime hunting grounds for me

i lust it

but i know some of you are probably confused about a few things you may have heard or seen or read down through the years

so anyway

first of all the band kiss is not mine

the initials in the name of the band do not stand for knights in satan's circle

i know how to fucking spell

come on already

and plus i have seen that gene simmons sucking at the teat of the virgin mother

he goes to church


the band ac/dc is mine

i gave the guy his voice and the idea that he should name his band something shocking

do you get it

and i also gave him the idea that he should name his band something that the initials would demonstrate his allegiance to me

yes all children truly are my children

he gave his life to me much too early

we could have done so much more

but at least the band rocks on

the dead milkmen album beelzebubba was not my idea

i did not think it was funny

i do not appreciate references to my weight or social standing or heritage

it is not the easiest thing in the world to do to keep trim and fit when you are out scoring chicks at night and taking the souls of businessmen in exchange for a little minor accounting error and the like all day

so remember no more fucking jokes like calling me lard of the underworld

anyone flips me more shit like that gets uninvited to the party

and i do not wear overalls


the rolling stones song sympathy for the devil is fine by me and does a pretty good job of giving credit where credit is due

the only part of that song that bothers me is the idea of sympathy

mick and keith what the fuck guys

i was tighter with you guys than the jeans we painted on mick back in those days

and they still clearly did not have a clue

i am the man

i do not need sympathy

i will get you all

i lust you

see you in hell

the party is just getting started


At 9:36 AM, Blogger PDD said...

Your ability to spell turns me on Satan.

I'd like you to whirl my bra and toss it in the air.

My nipples are so hard for you right now you can hear them spring out when I take off my bra, which I am doing right now.

I lust you.


At 11:40 AM, Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

Satan is it true that you have a tattoo of a little red rose on your left shoulder blade??

At 8:41 PM, Blogger YellowSock said...

Thank you for AC/DC, Satan. Without them on my iPod I might have to kill all of my co-workers.

And without Manalow, I wouldn't have wet dreams.

Thank you Satan.

At 8:53 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

*gasp...chortle...wail* WAHAHAHAHAHAHA Satan has a little red fuckin rose tattoo?


At 8:53 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:43 AM, Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

I figured you to be responsible for the likes of Lionel Ritchie and shit like that.

At 6:10 PM, Blogger PDD said...

Why is it that Satan doesn't get that many comments? Clearly he is a genius, as well as created luxury and the best of entertainment on this planet. Why are we so ungreatful.

Satan I totally feel your pain. I will come to you soon. Just lead me the way to obliterate all the bimbos. I know you have it in you to show me the way. Just put that bourbon down for one second and instruct me. I will come to you soon.

At 2:26 AM, Blogger jungle jane said...

maybe if lazy-arse Satan visited his people's blogs more they would comment. until then i am just going to take the piss out of his girly tattoo...

At 8:15 PM, Blogger just thinking said...

lol... that was great.

At 8:57 PM, Blogger YellowSock said...

I need you Satan. There isn't enough evil in my life these days. I know you're busy, what with the Air Supply reunion tour and settling Milosevich into his new digs and all.

Bursitis isn't cutting it as the most cursed thing in my life right now.

Yours forever and ever.

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